Everything is not about you.

I had to write this before my head exploded.

I read this great blog post last night about 13 Things You Should Never Say to a Working Mother!

I thought it was really good and I could relate to many things on the list.  BUT I should have known from just the very title of this post that it would have some interesting comments.

Here's the thing.  People write about the whole "mommy war" topic (NOTE: that post was NOT about the mommy wars) and how ridiculous it is .  I have too.  And yes, I do think it's ridiculous.  We should all just support each other...we are all doing our best...yada, yada, yada.  But the cold hard truth is that it really exists...to some extent.  In a perfect world, no one would judge anyone.  We would all empathize with each other and get along.  But that's not reality, folks.

The reality is that everyone has their own reality.  And many people think that their reality is SO much harder than yours.  And they feel the need to tell anyone who will listen.

So where am I going with this?

Like I said, I really liked the article and I could relate.  Why?  Because I am mom with 3 children who works out of the home.

So as I started to read the comments it dawned on me that NO MATTER WHAT, some people make everything about them.

For example, many comments went like this (I'm paraphrasing but you get the idea):
~"I have heard way worse than this as a stay at home mom."
~"You need to put the time in with your children.  No job or amount of money is worth it.  If you work to buy fancy things for your kids, then don't buy those things."  (This made me laugh and laugh.  I didn't know paying the bills and mortgage were so fancy. Damn.)
~"Staying home is so much worse.  You get judged way more than working moms."

It was right about then that I had to stop reading.  Because EVERYTHING IS NOT ABOUT YOU, PEOPLE.

The woman who wrote this (Jennifer from www.proudworkingmom.com) wrote about what she knows...being a working mom.  She did not say, "Don't say these things to working moms but say whatever you want to stay at home moms."  She simply wrote about things not to say to working mothers.  Period.

The bottom line here is that there sadly is some level of a mommy war.  There always has been..and always will be.

It isn't necessarily a war waged between working moms and stay at home moms.  It might be between the mom with 4 kids and the mom with 1 or the mom with a nanny and the mom who goes it all alone each day.  It might be between the mom who works long hours and the mom who leaves right at quitting time.  As much as we want to act like we are all in the same boat, everyone's boat is different and everyone judges each other's boat from time to time.  We all do it from time to time.  I do it.  You do it (admit it, you probably do).

But let's try to be nice and realize, again, that everything is not about you.

If you work because you love it, then be grateful that you are lucky enough to have a job you love.

If you work for financial reasons, then be grateful that you have a job to help pay the bills.

If you stay home with your children because that is your choice, be grateful that you could make that choice to be home.

If you stay home with your children because that is the only way you can make it work, be grateful that you can make it work.

Just be grateful.  After all, it's almost Thanksgiving, DAMMIT. 

My completely justfied law suit against a fast food giant.

Bear with me here.  I think I have a case.  I have been doing some research and maybe I can file a lawsuit, more specifically a "tort claim", against McDonald's.

If you look up "tort claim", you would see that it "involves a civil wrong, including actions based on negligence, defective products, medical malpractice, nuisance, unsafe premises, and unsafe products."

And no, I am not looking to sue the home of the golden arches because of unsafe products.  We ALL know they those damn burgers are not healthy, even if they are DELICIOUS.  And the straws...those wide straws allow for PERFECT fountain soda delivery.  Oh, and the salty goodness of the fries....

But I digress.

Let me get to the real issue here.  The real motivation behind my fury...and what I believe to be just cause to file a lawsuit.

Just a few weeks ago, good old Mickey D's began to offer Wizard of Oz figures with their happy meals.  Well, my girls are big fans of that movie.  So being the selfless, caring, generous mom that I am, I decided to indulge them.  It had nothing to do with the fact that I wanted a fountain soda and cheeseburger.  Nothing at all.

So we pulled into the drive through and I placed the order.  The nice gentleman asked me the standard questions...what drinks to you want with those?  Any sauce?  Are they for boys or girls?

I answered, "GIRLS, all 3 are girls".  I always repeat this because I try to avoid the very unfortunate event that happened next.

We inched up to the window to get the much anticipated happy meals and Wizard of Oz dolls.  I pulled away and began driving home with 3 girls asking for their toys...and with one yelling at me to stop eating her fries.  I tried to explain that I was just making sure they weren't too hot.  Always looking out for them...

As I looked into the happy meals at the next red light, I was SHOCKED.  Astonished.  Then I was downright livid.

Inside the first happy meal was a Tin Man figure.  Okay, no problem if they all get that.

The next one also had a Tin Man.  I started to breathe a little easier.

BUT...I opened the third and final happy meal and you could imagine my horror when my eyes narrowed in on a Glinda the Good Witch figure.  And effing GLINDA.  For just one of the girls.  Why McDonald's, WHY?!  I don't have ANY issue with my girls getting the male character figures.  My issue was just ONE of them getting Glinda, the most beautiful witch you ever did see.  SERIOUSLY?  I imagined the staff at McDonald's filling the happy meals and laughing their asses off.  "Let's really eff this mom's day UP."

And you all know that Glinda is by far superior to the Tin Man in the eyes of most young girls.  It was just downright WRONG.

So do I have a reason to file a lawsuit?  Damn right, I do.  A tort claim can involve a nuisance.  And that day was quite a nuisance, let me tell you.

The final solution was that the 2 year old got Glinda while her older sisters got the Tin Man figures.  This came after much whining and tears from them (and wine and tears from me).

So look out, McD's.  I am coming for you if you ever pull some lame ass stunt like that again.  I am coming...

Or maybe I will take a year supply of burgers and call it a deal.  I have to think about that one.

Have any of you ever suffered such an injustice at the hands of a fast food giant?  Let me know.  Maybe we can get a class action suit going...
 

'Tis the Season for Holiday Giving

I have been basically begging and pleading for donations on facebook...stopping just short of offering one of my children.  Although you are welcome to babysit if you donate.

In all seriousness, an amazing and generous friend has started an adopt a family sort of project on her facebook page (Go check out Tripping While Standing Still...she rocks!) ...and you know what?  People are being so generous!

However, she came across a family that needed help but the family was a little too large for just one person (there are 5 young children).  That's were WE all come in.  If you are reading this, when I say "WE" I mean you too.  Even if you donate a dollar you are helping.  Trust me!

Just imagine being a single parent this time of year.  The stress of the holidays is an added burden to an already full plate.  When the mom we are helping was told about this, she was in tears.  She had been feeling so helpless.  But we can help.  I know that I can go without a little something here and there to make a small donation to help this family.  Can you do the same?

I am going to add a link to this post to donate via PayPal.  I will take ALL donations and purchase a Visa Gift Card and send it to the family.

I only hope that it makes the holidays brighter for a deserving family!

Thank you all in advance.  You are awesome!

   

Taking the Time

I KNOW that I have to take the time to stop and do stuff with my kids...like the little stuff.  I know this, but I really need to get better at doing it.

Just last night, my 5 year old said something to me that reminded me of this.


I had seriously walked in the door from work and started making dinner immediately.  My 8 year old had to be somewhere at 6:30, so I knew I had limited time.  It's a whirlwind on most week days after work, but especially if there is something to do in the evening. 

So after dinner was over and my husband had left with both my oldest and youngest daughters, I was cleaning up.  My mind was going a mile a minute.  First I was going to get the dinner dishes cleaned up, then I was going to throw in a load of laundry, and THEN make lunches for the next day.  And I was so tired for some reason so I wanted to get it all done and go to bed relatively early.  For once, I didn't want to have a million things to do after the kids were in bed.

Then...my 5 year old asked me to read a book to her.  Her favorite book.  A book that we have read a bajillion times.  (What, spellcheck?  BAJILLION is a word and I swear we have read the book that many times!)

I gave her the usual line, "Okay, I'll read it to you as soon as I'm done".  But she saw right through it and I think she knew I would never get around to it...because soon enough it would be time for a bath.

So she pulled out the big guns.  She said, "I'll never get better at reading if you don't take the time to read to me."

Ouch.  Damn, that girl is good.

But she was right.  As a teacher, I know that.  I should be happy that she is begging to read with me.  Plus, it's not as if I'm the picture perfect housekeeper either.

So I let the dishes sit on the counter.  And we read her book.  We read it 3 times.  The last time she "read" it...and even though she was winging it, she basically did read the whole book to me.

Listen, I am not the mom that is going to say never spend time away from your kids, always give them 100% of your attention, and cherish even blessed moment (even the hard core tantrums in the Target toy department...because they grow up so fast).  That's not me.

But my daughter was right.  I need to take the time.  It doesn't mean every waking moment...but the little moments here and there.  When other things can wait, let them wait. 

I've got to get better at it...starting right now.  Especially since I have been hearing doors slams and kids running around upstairs the entire time that I've been typing this.