Dear Companies with Telemarketing (and you bill collectors too)

Dear Companies with telemarketing,

Oh and you bill collectors too,  I am most definitely talking to you.

Stop that shit.

Just STOP calling me every day starting at 8 am, including weekends. 

No, I do NOT want more newspaper or magazine subscriptions.  They already pile up as it is. 

I do NOT want to donate more money to some specific cause.  If I do want to donate, I will contact you.  You calling me several times a day is not going to urge me to get my check book out. 

Also, you should know a couple of things...

1.  I will NOT answer if the number comes up on my caller ID as "Unavailable".  It is not happening.  Period.
2.  If by some crazy chance I do answer, I will hang up if you do not respond to my "Hello" in t-minus 3 seconds.  No one I know takes that long to respond when I answer the phone. 
3.  If you are a bill collector, please understand that I want to pay my bill, whatever it may be.  I really do.  I don't get my kicks out of going around charging things then not paying for it.  I will pay.  You will get your money.  Stop harassing me, even if I am 18 hours late at paying my Sears card.  I hate to say it, but sometimes you are put on the very very VERY bottom of my "things I need to pay list".  I'll get to you.  Someday.  Alrighty?
4.  I am seriously thinking of filing a no contact order.  Is that even possible?

Please take time to seriously consider what I have said. 

And the next time you call, I will pick up the phone and let you listen to my kids cry and fight.  That might do that trick. 

Regards,
Katie

Seriously, people!  Please say that I am not the only one getting bombarded with these calls on a daily basis.  Maybe it is because I am home and when the phone rings, 4 out of 5 times it is one of these clowns.  I will tell you this, when they call after I get 6 kids down for a nap at the same time...let's just say that it's not pretty.