Sunday, October 28, 2012

I'm Prepared for a Zombie Apocalypse

This weekend I participated in the Run For Your Lives Zombie Infested 5k Obstacle Course Race.

It was a coed Bachelorette weekend for my sister-in-law.  We ran the race and then camped there for the night.  It was a fun time...after I got the layers of mud washed off and got the debris out of my contacts.  Seriously.  I almost considered going to one of the dozens of ambulances present to have my eye washed out.  And is that a bad sign when you get to a race and there are emergency response vehicles everywhere?

I learned a few things about what a zombie apocalypse would be like and how I would react.  I can't say that I am proud of myself.  But I think I could survive.  Because I survived yesterday...with one flag left on my belt.  If that isn't an indication that I am ready to face zombies, I don't know what is.

Here are a few things I learned.

1.  I would scream.  I mean, really scream.
So, they load all the runners into a covered gated area.  You run in waves that start every half an hour.  So we all got corralled into the starting game like animals.  And we were like animals...getting ready to be fed to the zombies.  Smoke filled the area and the gate was lifted.  As we ran out of the gate, there were zombies everywhere when the smoke cleared.  I ran as fast as my legs could possibly take me.  And I screamed my head off.  I was so scared during that first "zombie zone".  I think there were 12 zones.  But Zone 7, I was cool with it.  I was beginning to embrace the zombies and even talk to them.  I'm not sure if I was really cool with them...or if my will to live had simply faded.

2.  I would drop the f-bomb excessively.
By the fifth obstacle...I was getting pretty liberal dropping f's everywhere.
Are you f-ing kidding me?
What the f?
I have to really f-ing do that?
We are only at the f-ing one mile mark.  How is that f-ing possible?

3.  I would basically do anything necessary to "survive".
I will tell you this...there were some obstacles in this course that I had NO desire to do.  But I wanted to get it done.  At one point, we ran out of a clearing in the woods, through another zombie zone and reached a lake.  People were jumping in and swimming across.  The only other way was to run ALL THE WAY around it.  No one was doing that.  And when it's a f-ing zombie don't want to go it alone.  I looked at my sister-in-law who was already in the water and just yelled, "Am I really supposed to swim across?!!!"  Then...I just got in and swam.  In the middle, I couldn't touch at all.  It was freezing.  The water was NASTY.  From that point on, it was anything goes...

And anything goes means...
climbing under barbed wire through inches of muddy water.
going through a smoke house with electrically charged wires hanging everywhere.
sliding down a muddy water slide and getting completely submerged in a muddy pool of water of the bottom.
climbing under the electrically charged fence at the finish line.

*A "zombie zone"

Photo: Did we mention you'd get a little wet and muddy?
*The muddy waterslide...

Photo: It's electric. Stay low.
*electrically charged fence at the finish line...

When it was all said and done, I had several scrapes and a bruised right knee, a probable scratch on my cornea, I was electrocuted 3 times, and I had goose bumps for hours.

It was a blast!

I am most definitely prepared for a Zombie Apocalypse after this weekend.

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*All photos courtesy of the Run for Your Lives facebook page.


  1. I have heard of this race and I think it is super cool! Thanks for the recap.

  2. This sounds incredibly fun. And just so you know, it seems to be a general consensus, based on all the zombie movies that I've seen, that liberal use of the f-bomb is one of the top skills required for surviving the apocalypse. You're set to be a leader in the new world order! LOL

  3. If you didn't use the F bomb I'd be shocked! Would you do it again?? The Tough Mudder was the hardest thing I've done since childbirth but I'd definitely do it again.


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