Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Lessons Learned as a Parent

This is a work in progress...

1.  Playing with food (ie. Painting with pudding) is NEVER a good idea.  Whoever thinks it is needs to get a grip.  No normal functioning adult should paint with their food, why should we teach our children to do it?  That is why they make freakin' washable finger paint.

2.  Moon Sand is horrible.

3.  Play Doh should only be played with outdoors during warmer weather.  When it dries and hardens, consider it to be a permanent addition to the throw rug under your dining room table that you shouldn't have even bought when you have young children.

4.  You should put a diaper on your child if they are not potty trained as soon as possible after a bath.  If you don't, you can pretty much guarantee that they will pee on your floor. 

5.  Arts and crafts with kids is jaw-clenchingly annoying (you know when you can't stand how half-assed and messy they are being with the craft that you took days to think of and prepare for and you stand there watching with your jaw clenched and teeth ready to chip and fall out from the pressure and you just want to grab the craft and say, "MOVE IT, I will take it from here!")

6.  My kids will dress better than me 9 out of 10 times.  (They get new clothes with each season as I wear the same shirt for the better part of a decade.)

7.  Full day kindergarten is fabulous. 

8.  Your kids will not sleep late when you want them to but you will have to wake them and be borderline Mommy Dearest to get them ready when you need to be up and out early for school/work.

9.  You would be surprised how much you can get done during naptime.

10.  On that note, naptime is never long enough.

11.  Children lack many social graces.  "Eww, I don't like what you are wearing."  "Why does it look like there is still a baby in your belly?"  "That lady is really old."  (said loud enough for "that lady" to hear)

12.  People become millionaires preying on the poor taste of small children at the cost of their parents' sanity (ie. The creators of many shows on Sprout).

13.  Talking dolls are so motherf&^*ing creepy...especially when in the darkness of night you hear "Mommy, I'm hungry...tinkle, tinkle...hehehe".

14.  Children can eat a ridiculous amount of snacks.

15.  If you don't want children to touch/play with/ruin something, then don't have it in your house.  If you bring it into the confines of your home, that is the risk you take.

16.  You can know every word to a movie without ever actually seeing it thanks to the rear entertainment system in your minivan.  (I STILL have not figured out how to make it so they can watch a movie in the back while I listen to the radio up front...if that is even possible.)

17.  When the kids are too quiet, you can generally be certain that things are going to end badly. 

18.  Don't ask a rhetorical question to your child when you are angry.  They will try to answer you and this will intensify your anger/frustration.

19.  Kids don't know if something is expensive or cheap.  Use this to your advantage and spend no more than $20 on a present until they get old enough to ask for the big stuff.

20,  Your kid will survive if they don't eat their dinner...and you still let them have dessert.

21.  You will be surprised by how much patience you can have, even if you have to summon up that patience from the very deepest depths of your soul.

22.  Enjoy the newborn phase.  It is exhausting but it doesn't last long.

23.  If it ain't broke, don't fix it...and if it breaks, still don't fix it because it will probably get broken again.

24.  Sometimes it is better to just relax, yell less, and drink more.

25.  You will worry about your children everyday (and it will begin the moment that you know that you are going to have a child.)  Don't worry so much, you probably aren't screwing them up as much as you think you are;)

PLEASE share some of your lessons learned!  Like I said, this is a work in progress.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Pros of Having a C-Section

Yes, c-sections are major abdominal surgery.  Recovery is longer and can be painful.  It is not ideal.  No one gets pregnant and thinks, "I really hope I get to have a c-section."  Well, some people do but I think they are usually celebs that can't be bothered with that tricky process of childbirth and not being able to pencil it into their busy schedule.  They need a date to confirm with their assistant that they are available.

So when I was induced with my first daughter, I never thought I would need a c-section.  Turns out I did...and I went on to have 2 more after that.  And guess what folks, it is not that bad.  At least I did not think so. 

Here are some pros to this form of childbirth:

1.  You get an extra day in the hospital.  This might not seem like a perk but when you have other children at home, it might be a welcome break.  I packed for my 3 day "vacay" at the hospital with my 3rd daughter like I was going on a weekend cruise.  I was so ready to come home by day 3, but it sure was relaxing. 

2.  You get better drugs.  Seriously, I didn't use one percocet after leaving the hospital.  They are not for me.  But for some people, this might be a definite plus.  You get an prescription for about 30 when you leave the hospital.  Giddy up.

3.  You can use it as an excuse to avoid housework for about 4 to 6 weeks.
"Oh hon, not sure I can vacuum. Doctors orders."

4.  You can also use it as an excuse for that pesky baby weight that hangs on long after your "baby" is out of diapers. 
"Well,  I did have 3 c-sections.  They basically cut through your stomach muscles so as much as I exercise, I just can't get rid of that belly fat."

5.  In addition, you can avoid exercise altogether for a few months because, as I said, you had major abdominal surgery.

6.  You most likely can choose the day of your delivery.  If the baby doesn't decide to come earlier...then this can work out nicely.  You can line up childcare if you have other children.  I scheduled my 3rd c-section for a Friday.  Just worked out better for us over the weekend.  My water did break but the baby had the decency to wait until the morning of the scheduled c-section to make that happen.  She's so agreeable that way.

7.  You don't have to be in constant fear of the first time you have to go to the bathroom after having your child.  C-sections make that much easier.

So anyone else want to share their pleasant c-section experiences? I would love to hear:)

No horror stories please.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

More Annoying Facebook Crap

I was thinking about my list of irritating facebook habits and "facebookers" and I had a realization.  I had just skimmed the surface.  There are so many other things that I read on facebook on a daily basis that get a chuckle (and not because it is funny but because I can't believe people actually write that crap), an eye roll (because people are just too freakin annoying for words), and that actually cause me to shut down facebook altogether and call it a day.

Here are some additions to my list from last week.

The abbreviators
Ok, so I am guilty of an occasional LOL or OMG.  But I can honestly say that I did not know what some of those abbreviations meant until just a few months ago. Then I started to think that I can't believe a person would say FML just because they left their coffee on the kitchen counter.  Hey, if you have time to post about it on facebook and complain, you have time to stop into Wawa and grab a new coffee.  Your life is not that terrible.  Oh and you should not use these abbreviations on a daily basis if you are over the age of 17. 

People that have conversations back and forth on their wall
Please, send a personal email or text to your friend.  If what you have to say can not be summed up in 5 comments or less, please call each other or talk about it privately. 

You going tonight?
Not sure. u?
Maybe but had a stomach bug so not feeling 100%
Oh no, was it a bad one?
Yes, puking all night and terrible stomach cramps.
My man had it last week...so sorry love.
It's ok, but if I don't see u can we plan to get together.
YES, when are u free???

And you can see how this could go on forever.  I don't care either way about how you converse with your friends.  But I hate when I get on facebook and my whole news feed is clogged up with this nonsense.  For the love of god, CALL each other and discuss it!!!  Why is facebook your sole form of communication?!

Don't brag of facebook.  If your life is so fabulous, it just is.  Be happy about it.  Do you really have to talk about the 5th luxury vacation you took this year, or the 20th girls night out you have had this month, or the mani/pedi you are in the process of getting because "mommy deserves it after a long week at work and at home and as a parent volunteer at your child's Montessori preschool and as the chairman of the board on any committee that will have you".  Well all moms deserve it...you don't have to say how great you are to make it true.
And by the way, if you have a beautiful house, you don't have to keep posting pictures of it for all the world to see.  I don't post pics of my super average house with too much stuff in it that is busting at the seams with 3 young girls and home daycare.  I wouldn't want anyone to be jealous.

Please repost this
Listen, I do love my daughters.  I don't need to repost that it is national love your daughter day or whatever the shit it is.  I do also think cancer sucks, or that childhood illnesses are horrible, or that service workers such as police officers and fire fighters deserve more pay.  I just don't need to repost a chain post of facebook to declare my support.  And please don't shame me into doing it...like "I guarantee only 10% of my friends will repost this".  Because guess what, I am with the 90%...I will not repost it.  Doesn't mean I don't agree or sympathize.

So there you have it...more things that we could do without when it comes to facebook.  And just let me be clear that these are the things that get on my nerves.  I am not saying that I, myself, am not annoying at times.  I will be the first to own it.  BUT, if we can all try to minimize some of these behaviors, then the world of facebook might be a much happier place.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

It's not all sugar and spice...

I have 3 daughters.  People always look at me when I say that and say, "Oh no, 3 weddings." Or they say, "Your poor husband."

Well, how about 3 COLLEGE educations or all of the other way more important things we will have to pay for before a wedding is even a thought?  How about if they all don't get married?  Just because I have 3 girls does not mean that they will all get married or have a big wedding.  Knowing my middle daughter...she just might run off and elope.  Who knows.

Oh, and guess what?  My husband loves having 3 daughters.  He could not care less about having a boy.  I was the one who was more into having a boy then he was.  But when I found out that we were having yet ANOTHER girl, I was not sad at all.  Not to mention the fact that I couldn't imagine it any other way now that she is here and already almost one year old!

Another thing that some people say is, "I don't know what I would do with a girl...I am just not that girly."  Well, do you think I had a choice?  Even the biggest tomboy has the same chances of having a girl that I did.  And not only did it happen once, it happened 3 times.  You don't need to have that "girly" gene to give birth to a girl.  It just happens.  If you didn't know that, google it and see how a baby's gender is determined.  I don't recall it being related to the mother's choice or level of athletic ability or how feminine and girly you are. 

Don't get me wrong, there are times when I get sick of all the barbies, strawberry shortcake dolls, pink socks and pink shoes and pink everything.  But we don't always have girly pink stuff here.  My oldest daughter is the girliest one of the 3 so far.  She loves anything glittery and pink and bedazzled.  But she loves to play outside and she doesn't give a hoot if she gets dirty.  She will dig in the dirt and hold a worm right in her hand with no problem.  My 3 year old loves to throw a baseball and she likes to play outside too.  She likes anything purple but won't wear any fancy shoes.  All she wants to wear are her crocs or sneakers.  Who knows how the baby will be...but she seems pretty tough so far.

So we are not all sugar and spice over here.  And we are most certainly not always everything nice.  I can guarantee that.  These girls fight and yell and wrestle and get dirty.  Then they retreat to their pepto pink colored room and play Barbies for hours on end.  It's a little of everything...and I love it.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Why Facebook Can Be Annoying

What I should say is "why some people on facebook are annoying"...and this could include myself.  I am just saying that I find certain things super irritating about facebook and I mentioned it in my post about being honest in 2012.  I think that in general it is a great tool to keep in touch with friends, family, random people you have not seen in the flesh in 2 decades, your friend's neighbor's cousin's wife, whoever you want. 

BUT there are some things that get under my skin...

When people don't have a profile picture
It is so creepy to see only that generic shadow of a face as someone's profile picture.  It is not that hard to get a real picture up on there...and if you can't muster up the strength or are not "tech savvy" enough to do it, then you should not be on facebook.  Hey, it's fine if you find a picture from 1995 when you had better skin and were 40 pounds lighter, or one of your pet, or one of your kid(s).  Go for it.  Just don't look like a shady stalker with that random one you get assigned when you fail to upload a picture.

When people share way too much information
I truly believe that people should keep their drama to themselves or maybe just share it with close friends and family.  You do not, I repeat, do NOT need to share it with 400 of your not so closest friends on a social media networking site.  We do not need to hear about your low life ex, your financial woes, or your disgusting medical issues.  Thanks.

Vague status updates that leave everyone hanging
"Ughhh so worried!"  "Keeping my fingers crossed..."  "I can't believe this is happening."
Seriously people, put out or shut up.  Give us the info or don't post anything at all.  And don't act like you did it innocently when you really just posted it to get a response out of people. 

Debbie Downers
It's fine if you have a rough day and you vent a little...but when it is constant, everyday, all the time complaining, it is just enough.  It is draining to read those posts...so if you are living it, then I am sure it is rough.  Please get some help.  Facebook is not therapy.

Miss Suzy Sunshine
On the other hand, there are those people that are always happy about every little aspect in life...the weather, their great job, their fabulous hubby, the kids that they just LOVE SO MUCH (I think it is safe to assume that you love your kids, you don't really have to post it on a daily basis for it to be true).  Sometimes you can be up and sometimes down, I just don't think it is normal to always be one or the other.

Play by Play Commentators
I am so happy that you had a great lunch with friends, then an awesome workout at the gym, followed by picking the kids up at school, homework, a delicious home cooked meal by you (and I am sure you will share the contents of the entire meal with us because you are supermom) and then you are snuggled up with a book by the fire while your angelic kiddies are sleeping.  We don't need to know every aspect of your life everyday.  Give it a rest.  Plus, you make me feel like a failure who gets nothing accomplished...

OMG, this is so fun, but I am taking time away from this awesomeness to share the news with my facebook friends
I am absolutely dumbfounded by the people that are out at a party, a bar, or wherever fabulous it is that they go and they are posting about how much fun they are having.  If it is so fun, then you probably would not be thinking about getting on facebook to tell everyone else who isn't there how wonderful it is.  I know when I am out somewhere (rare as it may be), the last thing I think about is posting about it on facebook.  Why? Because I really am actually having fun and I don't give a crap about facebook.

Is there anything about facebook or any other social media networking site that you find utterly annoying???  PLEASE SHARE!

Monday, January 9, 2012

A Clean House...What's That?

I want my house to be clean.  I want my house to be organized and clutter free.  I want my laundry to be 100% done, clean and put away in drawers.  I truly want these things and maybe if I keep saying it, somehow magically overnight it will happen.

But I doubt it. 

So I have been thinking that maybe a clean, organized house is not in the cards for me.  Here are my excuses reasons:

1.  I would LOVE to hire a cleaning lady.  Problem is, I would have to clean up for the cleaning lady.  Seriously, I just can't win here.   

2.  I work from home. And by "work" I mean I am home with my children and 4 other children on daily basis as a home daycare provider.  So even though I am home all day, it might come as a shock to people that I don't have much time to get housework done with 6 kids here all day.  Not only can I not get housework done, most of what I do get done gets UNDONE in about 5 minutes flat.

3.  When I get one teeny tiny little smidgen of time to myself, I don't give a crap about cleaning.  I feel guilty about sitting on my ass and watching TV when the kids are in bed and I should be doing one of the million  things that needs to be done.  But the guilt goes away with each passing minute of Real Housewives drama.

4.  I have kids...plural.  I look back at pictures when I only had my oldest daughter.  My house was so neat and clutter free.  It is sickening.  And it seems like a distant memory or maybe something that happened in a past life.  But it did happen and now it doesn't.  Once I had my 2nd child I didn't have the time to clean up immediately after my older daughter made a mess.  Then it just got to be more and more overwhelming.  So maybe I just gave up.  Who knows.  Plus we 3 girls we have an extremely large collection of toys that take up half of a living room, a sun porch, 2 bedrooms...and sometimes the dining room, bathroom, my bedroom, and...okay, it takes up the whole house.  I am thinking a move might have to happen sometime in our future.

5.  Cleaning sucks.  Bottom line..that is the truth. 

I love a clean house...it is just the getting there that is the problem.  So I am hoping as the kids get older and I have more time, I can get back to a clean,organized house.  I plan on doing some of this myself but mainly by making my kids do it.  Hey, I will pay them an allowance.  I am figuring with 3 kids I can have them do at least 75% of the housework which I will call "chores" and it will be worth every penny.      

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Let's be honest in 2012

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if people were just brutally, blatantly, 100% completely honest.  When I say "honest", I mean the little crap that we tend to keep to ourselves.  I know the old saying, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."  BUT...what if we just forgot about that for a day or so and said whatever we thought? 
Yes, people would be devastated, feelings would be hurt, friendships would be tested and maybe end altogether, but it would probably feel so freeing.  And I know I might have my feelings hurt as well, because let's face it, I am sure people would have things to say to me that I wouldn't like to hear.
So when I was thinking about this concept (which I actually do on a daily basis), some general things came to mind that I could be completely honest about and maybe not offend too many people.

First, I would be honest concerning this blog.  I started it back in the summer on a complete whim.  I read an article about blogging with a link to http://www.blogger.com/.  I went to it and got started.  I am impulsive.  Always have been.  I got so much feedback in the beginning that I got all into it.  I was getting over 100 views a day (which I thought was pretty good).  I was only working part time in the summer.  I thought I would have so much to write about with 3 kids and a home daycare.  I thought moms would relate and respond.  But as usual with anything that I do impulsively, I have been losing steam.  People are viewing it, problem is I am not posting enough.  I get more than a hundred regular views but only have 12 followers and 75 likes on facebook.  That is just crap.  And it has reached a plateau.  I still like blogging and will probably continue to do so in the hopes that I get more motivated, inspired...and that I get more people reading and sharing my blog with others.  So if you are reading...please share.  Thanks:)

Secondly, to be honest, potty training blows.  This week I was off and I did it.  I potty trained my daughter.  It wasn't that hard at all.  And it shouldn't be because she was 3 in August and was more than ready.  It's not rocket science.  I just needed a period of time with no interruptions so I could focus on potty training her.  She picked it up by day 2 and has been great.  She did have one accident at the park but it was the first time that we were full fledged out without the potty within a few feet...so I will accept that.  Just once.  No, honestly, it is fine.  But since I am being honest, accidents are really freakin' annoying. 

Speaking of annoying, facebook is annoying.  I know I use it regularly and I will actually use it to share this post.  But it is so annoying to me that I say I am going to get off of it at least 2 times a week.  Like I just want to delete my whole profile and be done.  I can't take it.  Some people post stuff and I want to say, "shut the hell up" or "who the f cares?"  but I don't.  I will be sitting at home and hop on facebook to find people "checking in" all over the damn place.  People are out at bars and I am in sweats with my hair a hot mess and my glasses on.  Not only are they at bars on Friday, they are again on Saturday...and sometimes a Wednesday.  Hey, it's fine with me.  Good for you.  But if you have kids and you go out at least 2 nights a week...PLEASE, for the love of god, share your secret with me.  How do you get people to watch your kids that often?  I see if you have a party or something specific to do...but I just can't imagine saying, "Hey, can you watch the kids so we can go bar hopping for the hell of it?" 

Finally, I am annoyed by Weight Watchers.  I like it and think the program works.  I have been doing it for months.  Lost 20 lbs prior to Christmas, then took a week off.  Who knows what damage must be undone starting tomorrow.  But I will face the music.  I am just annoyed with them inundating the television with their out of control commercials this week.  I get it...it's a new year and people will be resolving to lose weight.  So they are trying to lure people in with all their ads and offers for free registration...blah blah blah.  But the Jennifer Hudson ads are getting real real old.  She looks great but the one were she is singing with herself is terrible.  I just turn it off as soon as it comes on...and the fact that she looks so great but is getting paid millions to be a spokesperson gets under my skin.  NEWSFLASH, I would look great too if someone was paying me to do it.  But instead, I am paying them to be weighed in and judged each week by someone who lost 18 lbs back in 1988.  And I am sure that she is not judging me, but I sometimes sense a little judgement in her eyes or voice when she tells me that I lost a whopping 8/10 of a pound.  She will say,  "well, that's almost a whole pound."  And I want to say, "Well lady, I turned down cake and had fruit, turned down wine and had water, and ate salad for lunch for 5 damn days in a row...sorry if I want to lose more than 8/10 of a mother f-ing pound."  But I don't say that of course.  Maybe I would if we had that whole day of honesty thing.  I would put that lady right in her place!

So instead of writing about resolutions, I just thought I would get some things of my mind to start the new year.  There you have it....
Hoping everyone has a fabulous, healthy, and happy 2012!!!