Wednesday, November 13, 2013

My completely justfied law suit against a fast food giant.

Bear with me here.  I think I have a case.  I have been doing some research and maybe I can file a lawsuit, more specifically a "tort claim", against McDonald's.

If you look up "tort claim", you would see that it "involves a civil wrong, including actions based on negligence, defective products, medical malpractice, nuisance, unsafe premises, and unsafe products."

And no, I am not looking to sue the home of the golden arches because of unsafe products.  We ALL know they those damn burgers are not healthy, even if they are DELICIOUS.  And the straws...those wide straws allow for PERFECT fountain soda delivery.  Oh, and the salty goodness of the fries....

But I digress.

Let me get to the real issue here.  The real motivation behind my fury...and what I believe to be just cause to file a lawsuit.

Just a few weeks ago, good old Mickey D's began to offer Wizard of Oz figures with their happy meals.  Well, my girls are big fans of that movie.  So being the selfless, caring, generous mom that I am, I decided to indulge them.  It had nothing to do with the fact that I wanted a fountain soda and cheeseburger.  Nothing at all.

So we pulled into the drive through and I placed the order.  The nice gentleman asked me the standard questions...what drinks to you want with those?  Any sauce?  Are they for boys or girls?

I answered, "GIRLS, all 3 are girls".  I always repeat this because I try to avoid the very unfortunate event that happened next.

We inched up to the window to get the much anticipated happy meals and Wizard of Oz dolls.  I pulled away and began driving home with 3 girls asking for their toys...and with one yelling at me to stop eating her fries.  I tried to explain that I was just making sure they weren't too hot.  Always looking out for them...

As I looked into the happy meals at the next red light, I was SHOCKED.  Astonished.  Then I was downright livid.

Inside the first happy meal was a Tin Man figure.  Okay, no problem if they all get that.

The next one also had a Tin Man.  I started to breathe a little easier.

BUT...I opened the third and final happy meal and you could imagine my horror when my eyes narrowed in on a Glinda the Good Witch figure.  And effing GLINDA.  For just one of the girls.  Why McDonald's, WHY?!  I don't have ANY issue with my girls getting the male character figures.  My issue was just ONE of them getting Glinda, the most beautiful witch you ever did see.  SERIOUSLY?  I imagined the staff at McDonald's filling the happy meals and laughing their asses off.  "Let's really eff this mom's day UP."

And you all know that Glinda is by far superior to the Tin Man in the eyes of most young girls.  It was just downright WRONG.

So do I have a reason to file a lawsuit?  Damn right, I do.  A tort claim can involve a nuisance.  And that day was quite a nuisance, let me tell you.

The final solution was that the 2 year old got Glinda while her older sisters got the Tin Man figures.  This came after much whining and tears from them (and wine and tears from me).

So look out, McD's.  I am coming for you if you ever pull some lame ass stunt like that again.  I am coming...

Or maybe I will take a year supply of burgers and call it a deal.  I have to think about that one.

Have any of you ever suffered such an injustice at the hands of a fast food giant?  Let me know.  Maybe we can get a class action suit going...
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  1. Good luck with your lawsuit. I quite enjoy the eccentricity of your writing, looking forward to reading more of your future posts.

  2. Ha! This is great. I now check our meals BEFORE leaving the window. That's right, Nissan honking behind me, I am going to sit here and check ALL FOUR meals before I pull ahead. Honk means nothing to me. Does not even BEGIN to compare to the hell I will pay if my 8-year-old gets a girl toy, or if there is mustard OR cheese on this burger. #alwaysastepahead #momproblems


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