Friday, September 28, 2012

Give Me 5 for Friday: Must See TV!

I love this time of year.  The weather is getting cooler, leaves are changing...and my favorite shows are back!!!

Today for Give Me 5 for Friday, I am going to list my top 5 favorite shows from the week.  Three of them were season premieres that I waited anxiously for all summer...after forgetting what the damn season finale was even about in the meantime.  But I am so psyched they are back on.

It is important to note that many of these shows are recorded on my DVR and watched in the late night hours when the kids are fast asleep.  Because a) I would never allow my kids to watch some of these inappropriate mature shows and b) I have absolutely NO CONTROL over the television when the kids are awake.  Oh, and not like they watch television every waking moment either, so calm down Judgy Mcjudgersons.

Here's the same awful pic again...because I never got around to taking a new one.

My Top 5 Must See Shows this week were:

1.  Modern Family
One word...HILARIOUS.  I cried.  Honestly, tears streaming down my face when Cam and Mitchell had the elephant and gorilla on top of the car.  The subtly of this show is what makes it so funny.  Like when Cam was hinting on where he wanted to go on vacation (Branson, MO?).  Too funny.  Every one of those characters cracks my up. 

2.  The Real Housewives of New Jersey
I love me some reality television and this is my favorite Real Housewives show.  I can't wait for the three part reunion starting on Sunday night!  RHONJ is my #1 guilty pleasure.

3.  Grey's Anatomy
After the season finale cliff hanger, I was so excited to watch the premiere!!! It was good but I can't wait for next week to see what happened right after the plane crash.  I have to say though...this is the most depressing storyline.  These doctors just can't get a break.  Season after season, there is more tragedy. 

4.  Flipping Out
This has been on for a few weeks now, but it is my other favorite reality television program!  I can't get enough of Jeff and Jenni...and Gage.  Oh and Zoila!!! She is the best.  I hope they continue to show more of her this year.  And Jeff's...I mean, Jenni's wedding will be a season highlight.  But I love how Jeff is so stressed about it.  Oh Jeffrey Lewis...your dry sense of humor gets me every time.

5.  Scandal
I watched this one sporadically last season (the first season for the show), but I plan on really watching it regularly this year.  It's on after Grey's Anatomy and it is chock full of suspense and twists.  Maybe this will fill the void that was left from Lost.  But I doubt it.

What were your top 5 shows this week?

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Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Do other adults live like this?

I posted a picture on my facebook page yesterday about "how to do your laundry".  It basically said to live out of your laundry basket all week instead of actually putting it away.  Do you do this?  Because I do.  Not all the time.  But trust me, it happens.  Often.

Some days I look around my house and think "do other adults live like this?"

I know, I know.  I have 3 kids and a home daycare.  Of course my house is a mess.  But there are times that I just feel like I can't get a handle on it.  Well, most days I can't get a handle on it.

We have TOO MUCH STUFF and not enough space.  End of story

But I need to know?  I need reassurance. 

Do you live like this? 

Is your bathroom littered with toys, crusty toothpaste on the sink, shreds of toilet paper on the floor, stickers on the wall?  Because mine is.

Is your dining room table filled with school papers, toys from goody bags from the 3 birthday parties we attended over the weekend, random crumbs of food, and dried up yogurt?  Because mine is.

Is your bedroom filled with books and stuffed animals that your told your kids to leave in their OWN ROOM and threatened to throw out if they didn't listen but there they lie anyway, not one but two laundry baskets filled with clean clothes that you can't find that time to put away, or your own clothes stacked up on your dresser (folded, yes, but not put away)?  Because mine is.

Is your kitchen a messy, cluttered mess with always at least a few dishes in the sink, half eaten packs of crackers on the counter, and mystery containers in the fridge of who the hell knows what (along with a half empty bottle of wine)?  Because mine is.

Don't even get me started on the rest of the house.  There are toys everywhere.  Some broken and some that are never even played with at all.  Books in every part of the house...most with missing or torn pages.  Shoes.  Oh good God, the shoes.  We are drowning in piles of shoes.  Just this weekend, I went to Target (I know...shocking) and got a bin to place at the back door so the kids could put their shoes in it.  It is already full but the shoes remain on the steps, under the sofa, under the dining room table.

Please people, tell me that other adults live like this.  Because sometimes I feel like a kid just playing house...and that I am not doing a good job at it.

And if you do live like this, know that you are NOT alone.  You are awesome.  You are just trying to live life to the fullest and don't give a crap about a clean house.  Right?  RIGHT? 

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Sunday, September 23, 2012

A letter to the Motherf*&#er that ransacked my van

On my way out to the first of 2 birthday parties yesterday, I was shocked to find my minivan had been ransacked.  We had been out on Friday night and I am not sure if we forgot to lock the doors or if they didn't lock because the seat belt on the driver's side was hanging down into the door.  Either way, I was pissed.  Then a few hours later, my sister in law sent me a text that her van had been ransacked as well.  WTF.  We live near each other, but probably at least 8 blocks away.  Damn, that jerk made a great deal of progress in one night. 

Here is a letter to the motherf*^&er that did it.  And a warning...this contains curse words.  If you don't like that sort of thing (but who doesn't?), then maybe stop reading here.

Dear low life asshole piece of shit that ransacked my mom mobile,

You suck.

I hope you were pissed to find NOTHING of value except some spare change in the cup holder.  I'm glad you took it, because obviously you really needed it.  But you left some pennies in the other cup holder, maybe because there was a melted piece of chocolate gluing them all together.  Whatever.  You should have just taken that too.  It would have saved me the trouble of cleaning it out.

Oh, and you also could have taken all the Disney DVDs.  I am sick of watching, or actually listening, to that crap...especially the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse one. 

Next time you come looking for valuables and what not (although I can assure you that my van will continued to be littered with trash, sippy cups, juice boxes, DVDs, toys, and pillow pets), I am going to have some surprises for your lame ass.

Hmmmm, what will there be?  Maybe some hissing cockroaches or fire ants in the glove compartment?
Some mouse traps under the seats?  A fake dead rat in the sunglasses holder?  A creepy ass clown mask in the center console?  The possibilities are endless.

Until then, I will be watching...and waiting for you, motherf%&*er.

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Friday, September 21, 2012

Give me 5 for Friday: Mystery Reader Clues

I'm introducing a new fun little diddy on Fridays.  It's called "Give me 5 for Friday".  I will post something every Friday that consists of some list of 5 things.  It might be 5 great or not so great things about the week, 5 recipes that I may have made or that I may have pinned and never attempted or even considered to attempt but just pinned it because I like feeling like a failure, or 5 random things that I want to list that day. 

Here is my first Give me 5 for Friday!

Don't judge the picture too harshly.  Like I have said before, I am impulsive so I just came up with this little idea.  Therefore, I needed a quick pic. 

One of my best friends has a son in 1st grade.  This class has a mystery reader come in every Thursday.  The mystery reader is usually a parent/family member.  The week before you come into the class, you have to send in 5 clues about yourself so the teacher can give the students hints about who the mystery reader is and the kids can guess.

Well, my friend and I had a few laughs talking about what our five clues would be...

Here are mine:

1.  This person has a teeny bit of a weight about 40 lbs or so.

2.  This person has 2 pairs of jeans.  Only one pair fits.

3.  This person has unexplained adult acne on her chin. 

4.  This person wears her in hair in a pony tail on most days because of its unruly and uncooperative nature.

5.  You can find this person perusing the aisles of Target at least once (and usually twice) a week.

I could give more clues, but basically these should be enough.

What would your 5 clues be?

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Wednesday, September 19, 2012

I make bad decisions when I am bored.

Maybe not bad decisions...but poor or not well planned or impulsive.  That's it.  Impulsive.  I blame 90% of my impulsiveness on boredom. 

When I am bored, I decide to do some stupid crap.  Listen folks, I need to say here that I should NEVER be bored.  My house is a disaster most days.  There is always wash to do or kids to feed.  There are always errands I could run...and by errands I mean going to Target.

But sometimes I get bored...and that means big trouble.

When I was 12, I think I cut my bangs because I was bored.  NOT a good decision.  I have naturally curly hair.  Bangs are not a good idea. 

I started painting my bedroom one day because I was bored.  I was flipping out and dropping f-bombs left and right 7 hours later when it was still not done. 

I got a hamster for a class pet because I was bored one day.  It was my 3rd year of teaching and I rationalized that it would be great for my class to have the responsibility of caring for a class pet.  That damn hamster lived over 4 years and ended up residing with us at my house after only being in my classroom for 2 years.  The kids got over it real quick.  RIP Freddy.  You were a good little guy.  But you smelled. 

Just this morning I saw his cage in my attic.  I got a little flicker of an idea in my mind like, "Awww wouldn't the girls like to go get a little hamster?"  This was because I didn't have much going on today.  See?  Boredom almost landed us another stinky little pet to care for.  And by "us", of course I mean ME.  I would be the one cleaning out the urine covered bedding and I would probably get E. Coli or parvovirus or whatever disease it is that rodents carry (these statements are not backed up by any actual knowledge of veterinary medicine).  But hamsters are rodents, right?  They are cute rodents though, with their little ears and those little teeny tiny paws that hold food.  Oh, and then they shove as much food as possible in their cheeks, which is flat out adorable. 
A-freakin-dorbale, right?
Until I bite your finger with my sharp ass teeth?

BUT...they carry disease I think.  And they stink.  Plus, the kids would lose interest after about 4 1/2 days and I would be stuck caring for another pet.  All because of boredom.

I don't have any cure for this self-diagnosed illness that I have called "Boredom Induced Impulsiveness".  I can be as busy as I want to be with my 3 girls.  But sometimes I let the boredom sneak in and it takes over. 

Stay tuned for more of me and my not so great decisions.  I'm sure that there are many in my future.

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Tuesday, September 11, 2012

School Saved Us

School saved me us.

It's true. 

I LOVE being home with my girls.  I love it so much that I wish I could do it all the time, full time...especially now that the older two are in school (one for all five days and one for three full, heavenly days).

I know a few fabulous bloggers that homeschool their children.  I give them so, so, so much credit.  I don't know how they do it.  You can check out these lovely ladies here:
Happy Little Feet
Diapers or Wine
Peanut Layne

But seriously folks.  School saved us all this year.

Who knew it was possible for two kids to fight over so many everyday, meaningless things?  Well, now I know.

Kids (or at least my two oldest little gems) will fight over...
who got downstairs first.
who looked at who with a funny/mean/ugly/dirty face.
who got the "new favorite color" cup that day.
who ate the last popsicle.
who got into the car first.
who sat next to me on the couch.
who is in the other person's "favorite spot" on our very large sectional that can easily seat all of us but let's go all fight club over the one spot.
who gets to feed the dog that we ignore most of the time anyway but now all of a sudden want to feed.
who can eat the last banana although neither one ever wants bananas but now that only one is left, it is complete drama city.
who the youngest runs to first when the are both calling her.
who go their shoes on first.
who has a "prettier" outfit on that day or why one gets to wear a skirt while the other has to wear "stupid shorts" (it's called too much dirty laundry my don't like it, do it yourself!)

It goes on and on and after day after lonnnnnggggg day. 

So school is back in and it was a complete godsend.  No kidding here.  A gift from God. 

Some people are sad about their kids going back to school.  When I hear this (or more likely, read it on facebook), I start to feel guilty.  Why am I not sad?  Am I am bad mom?  NO I AM NOT.  My kids have got to go back to school for the good of this family.  The fighting and bickering had to stop...or at least from the hours of 8 to 4 during the school week.  The evenings are still chock full of fighting and whining goodness.  But that I can take.  My psyche can handle that. 

We are all better people now.  School saved me us.

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Saturday, September 8, 2012

There's nothing better than...

You know those times when you are sitting there enjoying something and you think, "there is nothing better than this"?

Sometimes it's just the little things.

Here's my list.

1.  Waking up and realizing the kids slept all their OWN beds.

2.  An ice cold beer (and I mean COLD, like where ice chips float on top of the beer after you pour it into an icy mug).

3.  A hug from someone after a bad day.

4.  The smell of a newborn.

5.  A slice of American cheese fresh from the deli.

6.  A good friend that lets you vent and doesn't judge.

7.  Listening to your kids play, and NOT fight.

8.  Turning on the radio and hearing the exact song that you wanted to hear.

9.  A Friday...that also happens to be payday.

10.  A peanut butter and jelly sandwich on fresh bread (I don't know why my oldest doesn't like them.  Those bad boys are good.  Period.)

11.  Laughing until you cry.

12.  Karma...because sometimes she is a b&%ch, but sometimes she gets it JUST RIGHT.

13.  The perfect cup of coffee.

14.  Velveeta cheese (Stop, it's good.  Don't judge.)

15.  A rainy day when you really need one.

16.  Logging in to pay a bill, and then discovering that you already paid it.

17.  Finding $20 in your pants pocket (or any amount for that matter).

18.  Early to bed night for the kids.

19.  A glass of nice chilled white wine.

20.  Getting a positive comment from a reader of my blog:)

21.  A clean house (I think....but I don't quite remember what that looks like).

22.  A fun family party.

23.  The feeling after a run.

24.  A good margarita.

25.  Guacamole (why is most of my list food and alcohol...jeez).

26.  A dinner out with my husband...without the kids. (again with the food...)

27.  Hearing my kids laugh, like really laugh...that deep belly laugh that makes everyone else laugh.

28.  The white, intense quiet after a snowfall.

29.  A beautiful beach day.

30.  Seeing the excitement on my kids' faces when we got to Disney World.

31.  Relaxing by the pool without another thing to do all day.

32.  A good finding a little gem in the clearance section that is 70% off:)

33.  Finding jeans that fit just right.

34.  Fresh,clean sheets on the bed.

35. Having someone tell me that they enjoy reading this blog...and that it gives them a good laugh from time to time.

SO what's on your list? 

My list is not complete.  It could go on and on...and I will continue to add to it.  Feel free to let me know what I should add!!!

Oh, and you know what else is GREAT?  When readers go over to the right-------> yep, right over there, and click on the Top Mommy Blogs link for me.  One click=one vote. 
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Monday, September 3, 2012

What Would You Do?

This post was inspired by the amazing, wonderfully talented Mary Tyler Mom.  Her daughter Donna's cancer story is being featured as a series by Huffington Post during September, Childhood Cancer Awareness Month.  31 posts, 31 days for the 31 months of Donna's treatment.  Please, I urge you to go read it.  Have some tissues handy.  But read it.  Everyday.  I have shared it so far on my facebook page and I will do so everyday this month.  Every.Single.Day.  Donna's life is an inspiration.  Mary Tyler Mom is an inspiration for sharing the story and spreading awareness. 

We all know life can be crazy.  Bills have to be paid.  People get stressed.  People argue.  Children test your patience.  The house has to be cleaned.  There are not enough hours in the day to accomplish what needs to be done.  Jobs add more pressure. 

It's so easy to get wrapped up in that.  I do it, I'll admit.

But then sometimes I sit back and think, if we all have our health...and we are happy, everything is good.

It's true.  Isn't that all that matters? 

And it's hard to really stop and think about that.  Stop right now.  Take a break from the daily grind that is your life...and think about that.

What would you do...
if someone close to you (family member, close friend) was sick?
if YOU were sick?
if you were given a certain amount of time?
if you were given NO time?
if something happened in the blink of an eye and changed everything forever?

What would you do?

Would you wish that you did things differently?  Maybe.

Now I am not saying to go out and live like you were dying (like Tim McGraw says).  Because if we did that, let's face it, no one would work.  We would spend every last penny we had.  Things might get a little messy.

But maybe, just maybe, we could all be a little happier, a little kinder, a little more grateful.

So, what will you do?

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