Sunday, July 28, 2013

Here's my Royal Baby post...

But Mom, all the other bloggers are writing about it...I want to do it toooooooo.

I'm talking about writing the Royal Baby post, of course.

But this is NOT a Royal Baby post.  It's more of a "I was a hot mess and Kate looked great" post or a "I'm pretty certain I was clueless with the infant car seat too even though we had it professionally installed AND they showed me how to buckle my first born in at the hospital" post or a "I couldn't wear my wedding ring for weeks because of my swollen sausage fingers" post.

On my facebook page the day of the "Royal vaginal delivery with no complications" I expressed a little excitement.  I lost half a dozen likes.  Then someone questioned me as to WHY was I excited?  And WHY did I care?  And they wrote more "blah blah blah I am so intelligent and the media hype has struck again" commentary.

But guess what?  I don't know why I was excited.  I haven't a clue why I cared.

All I know is this...I followed very little of Kate's pregnancy.  Then the week before she was due I started googling "royal baby news".  I started to anticipate the birth.  (I, as the mother of three daughters, thought it would be cool if a future Queen were to be born.)  Then the day came.  One of my best friends called me and said, '"I feel like my sister is giving birth."

It was just exciting.  Some pleasant, fun, happy news.  What, HAPPY stuff in the news?  Does that happen?

The next day I saw the little family come out of the Lindo Wing of St. Mary's Hospital.  My daughters watched with on E! News (my go-to news outlet). 

I teared up.

If they are not as cute as a button, then I don't know what the hell is.  Prince William spoke so sweetly.  The Duchess was looking fab with her blow out and little baby bump still showing in all it's glory because that's THE REALITY folks.

I just think they are ADORABLE.

They were so sweet in their blue outfits.  I'm guessing they also packed pink just in case a Princess had been born. 

Kate looked fabulous.  Did you see her legs?!  I wore sweat shorts home from the hospital with my hair slicked back in a ponytail and absolutely NO makeup.  Trust me, if I could have called a team of stylists to the hospital to make me look acceptable, I would have. 

AND she was wearing her wedding ring.  GO GIRL!  I forced mine on to wear to someone's wedding 12 days after my first daughter was born and I paid the price the next day.  I really thought I would have to amputate my ring finger to get that sucker off.

This was me the day after I had my third daughter.  
I kind of think I look almost exactly like Kate here.

Then when we thought the excitement was over...GASP.  Out they came again and we got to see them get in their car and leave.  William was carrying little Prince George (again, ADORABLE) and Kate rode in the back seat like most new moms do.  I know I did with my first.  I think my second sat back there with her older sister.  And I'm pretty sure my third just sat alone with a bottle propped up under her chin to keep her quiet while her two sisters sat in the third row of the van fighting over My Little Pony toys and what movie to watch on the DVD player.

But of course, mere hours after the great reveal, the judgy assholes came out in full effect.  There was criticism over Kate's dress showing off her still clearly visible baby bump.  WTF?!!! She gave birth about 24 hours prior.  People are clueless!

And then the damn criticism over how the new Prince was buckled into his car seat.  What is wrong?  Pretty much.  But WHO CARES???  Leave them alone.  She probably fixed it after getting into the car and out of the view of media and flashing cameras.  I know it took me quite some time to figure it all out.  Now I can talk on the phone, drink my coffee, and fasten my 2 year old in her 5 point harness one handed and blindfolded.  Don't worry Kate,  you'll get there girl.  

So no, I don't have any good reason as to why I was excited or why I cared.  I mean, why do people get excited about the Super Bowl or Harry Potter movies?  Do they really have an impact on your daily life?  NO.  But people get excited nonetheless.

Bottom line is that MILLIONS of people were excited.  And they are adorable.  I wish them nothing but the best.

And now back to our regularly scheduled shady politicians, global warming, athletes who murder, and rising joblessness and poverty.  Sue me if I welcomed the Royal Baby news with open arms...
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Friday, July 19, 2013

Give Me 5 for Friday: 5 COOL things to do with kids when it gets TOO HOT.

It's been super hot here.  Like HOT.  Excessive heat warnings hot.  The pool won't even cool you off HOT.  It's 10 am and I want a cold beer HOT.

Note:  I have no clue were I got this picture.  Please don't sue me if it's yours.  
I'll take it down.  Pinky  promise.

Most days we swim.  We lather with sunscreen, rinse, and repeat.  Day after day.

But some days I find myself stuck inside with the kids.  I'm always trying to think of ways to keep them busy.  If you have found yourself in this situation at all this summer, know you are not alone.

Here are some COOL things that I have been doing with the kids when it's TOO HOT.

1.  Constantly breaking up fights.

2.  Setting timers for computer usage and listening to incessant whining time is up because even though I have picked the fairest possible way to keep track of time, it is still NOT FAIR.

3.  Trying to convince ALL 3 kids that family nap time is a good idea.

4.  Sorting all the toys into piles that we want to keep, donate, or throw out.  Only to have them rediscover toys that they haven't played with in 3 years.  We still have not gotten rid of any toys.

5.  Playing with the kitten.  SERIOUSLY.  This has been a lifesaver.  I strongly suggest getting your children a kitten.  It helps with the boredom.  The kitten is starting to get a little pissed when they constantly hold her, wake her from naps, or try to dress her in doll clothes.  But the kids are having a good time.

So as you can see, I really have NO good suggestions at all short of getting a live animal to entertain your children.  Basically I just try to get through the day with everyone in one piece and no trips to the Children's Hospital.

But I could really use your help.  If you have any good ideas, share away!!!!

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Monday, July 15, 2013

I'm starting to resemble Tom Selleck...and other problems with 35.

Last month I turned 35.

I have no shame in that.  I am not one of those people who doesn't want to say how old I am.  It really doesn't matter much to me.

BUT there are a few..."problems"...that I have started to notice.

I guess it was coming.  When you turn 35, don't they stamp "ADVANCED MATERNAL AGE" on your ob/gyn files if you are expecting?  And although I am NOT expecting...nor do I plan on it in the near future (by near future I mean not EVER), all I can think of is that label.  ADVANCED MATERNAL AGE.  It just seems so...UGH.

When you are a kid, the word advanced is a good thing.  That means that you are smart or ahead of your peers in certain areas.  But the older you get, the more the word advanced just gets worse and worse for you.  And then it's not a good thing...but just bad, bad, BAD.

If I am being honest, there are certain things that are definitely advanced at this point.

The first thing is hair growth.  And I don't mean the hair on my head.  Although that hair seems to be falling out at alarming rates, I now have made up for it with hair on my chin and upper lip.  I have never, ever gotten my upper lip waxed in my life.  There was never a need to.  Oh but now there is a need.  Trust me.  I look a little like Tom Selleck.  And the chin hairs?  Just last year I could pluck one or two and it was under control.  At this point I am ready slather my whole face with hot wax and take care of business.

The other thing that is advanced is adult acne and break outs.  Back in my teens, I never had this problem.  I could wash my face with hand soap or slather it with tanning oil (only SPF 8 of course) and NEVER break out.  But now if I go to bed one night without washing off my makeup, I am sure to have an awesome break out.

Not only are the break outs super gorgeous, add skin discolorations to the mix.  A few days in the sun and my "chloasma" is in all it's glory.  Don't know what chloasma is?  Lucky you.  I got it with my 2nd pregnancy.  It is also lovingly referred to as the "mask of pregnancy".  It's just a cool way to say dark spots on your face.  

And how about the weight gain?  Let's talk about that being advanced.  What takes months to take off could be put back on in one wild and crazy weekend (and by wild and crazy I mean drinking wine and eating my childrens' leftover chicken nuggets and mac and cheese).  I can get up 4 mornings a week and run 4+ miles.  I can weight train.  I can watch my diet all week.  Then one bad dessert or night of beer drinking and it goes to shit. 

But the good thing about this age is that EVERYTHING can be blamed on hormones.  Weight gain has nothing to do with stuffing my face with cheese puffs and pinot grigio. My bitchy bad mood isn't my fault.  My bad skin isn't the result of my lazy ass not washing my face at night.  It's all because of the HORMONES.

Now if I could only find a way to blame the hormones for my messy house, my incredible amount of laundry, or my poor money managing skills.  Then I would really be on to something...

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Friday, July 12, 2013

Give Me 5 for Friday: 5 Great Things About Jury Duty

This past Monday I had jury duty.

Most people get annoyed when they have jury duty.  I get it.  We all have lives, jobs, things to do, people to see.  The last thing most people want to do is to sit in a jury room ALL DAY LONG.

But sitting in that room on Monday, I realized that jury duty isn't too bad.  At all.  In fact, it was pretty glorious.

I'll tell you why.

1.  You can't bring in your phone.
While I LOVE my iPhone (and I pretty sure I am slightly addicted to it), it was freeing to leave it behind.  There was no texting, checking emails, or Facebooking.  Nothing.  And it was wonderful.

2.  Kids don't have jury duty.
That's right.  No kids in sight.  Not my kids...not other people's kids.  Just 217 adults.  216 other people that didn't need me for a thing.  I didn't have to get snacks, wipe bottoms, break up fights, or watch Disney Jr. 

3.  I could read.  Without interruption.
Oh, how I read.  I read like I was 26 again (coincidentally, my oldest daughter was born just a month shy of my 27th birthday).  I read more than half of a 389 page novel.

4.  I drank my coffee without reheating it.
I drank a whole thermos of coffee that morning without reheating it one time.  Not once.  As a matter if fact, it was still warm when I took the last sip as I pulled into the parking garage at the courthouse.  If I could have taken it into jury duty with me, I would have brought a whole back up thermos...just so I could sit and read and drink coffee and feel like an adult.

5.  We got "breaks".
Like a whole 20 minute mid morning break.  Of course all I did was go get a Diet Coke and read some more.  But it was like the world was my oyster.  I could have taken a walk.  I could have gotten a coffee.  I could have conquered the world in those damn 20 minutes.  That's how it felt.

My only complaint is that we were released at 1:10 pm and my alone time was cut short.  I was looking forward to at least a good 8 hours.  So as people all around me breathed a big sigh of relief and happily walked out of that court house, a little part of me wanted to smack the grins right off of their faces.

And I'm sure the lady sitting next to me thought I was a little crazy when I said I wished I could sign up for jury duty every week.

But then she looked at me, smiled, and said "I thought the same thing when my kids were little".

What about you?  How do you feel about jury duty?

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Thursday, July 11, 2013

Champagne Events on a Lemonade Budget

This is a guest post…my first one! I think these are all super cute ideas for summer entertaining! After you read it, go check out Arianna. A link to her blog is at the end of the post. Enjoy!

Ahhh, summer! Eagerly anticipated by kids and adults alike and within two weeks, both can’t wait for school to start again! Summer seems like it should be a relaxing time but it is one of the busiest seasons of the year in my household. My girlfriends and I were commiserating how wonderful it would be to charter a private jet to take our families and nannies to a Caribbean island. Unfortunately, none of us have nannies or private jets and the closest we get to an island is fruity drinks and hot dogs by someone’s backyard pool! With a little creativity, you can plan your own festive night at home! Here are a few ideas to get you started”
CELEBRITY SUMMER: MOVIE PREMIERES -- Summer heats up with the premier of major movie releases from around the world. Flying to New York City, London or Los Angeles via private jet charter may seem like a dream role to us common folk, but it’s just another day in the life of a celebrity. The most anticipated family friendly blockbusters this summer are sequels to “The Smurfs” and “Despicable Me 2” and “Monsters University”. Summer isn’t the only thing that lights up with all of the movie stars walking the red carpet! 

-- While the cost of movie tickets sometimes might seem to be as expensive as chartering a private jet, there are several ways to enjoy summer movie premieres without breaking the bank. Many radio stations and city newspapers offer free tickets to local premiers of new releases such as “The Lone Ranger” or “Jurassic Park 3D”. Theater chains such as Regal and Cinemark offer special family-friendly discounts and packages so you can make your family trip to the movies an event without breaking the bank! Bring on the popcorn, soda and Snow Caps!

CELEBRITY SUMMER: MTV VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS -- This is one awards show that NEVER fails to deliver in shock value! How can anyone forget Lady Gaga’s meat dress or J. Lo’s memorable emerald-colored Versace dress strategically held in place with only tape? The performances are always newsworthy and sometimes, it’s the “in-between” antics that provide the most fireworks – Kayne West’s shout-out during Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech is always a top one that comes to mind. And the comedic hosts such as Jimmy Fallon, Russell Brand and Chelsea Handler add uncensored insanity to the ceremonies. The VMA’s are what all the “hip” moms will be tuning into this August!

-- Who needs the MTV Video Awards when you can have your own VMA-inspired awards show? A family karaoke night is just the ticket for musical fun! Karaoke machine rentals are available online and guests can dress up as their favorite artists for award-worthy performances. Be sure to capture their renditions on a camcorder and have everyone vote on the performances for prizes- maybe a replica of the infamous Moon Man award? 

CELEBRITY SUMMER: LAS VEGAS BACHELORETTE PARTY -- Celebrities and Sin City go hand-in-hand for bachelorette parties. Vegas has everything – from the notorious Chippendales shows to the hottest nightclubs with the most luxurious accommodations. Rehab at the Hard Rock Pool is a must-go event for famous bachelorettes such as Katy Perry and Kim Kardashian. 

REALITY SUMMER: NIGHT ON THE TOWN BACHELORETTE PARTY -- You don’t need to go to the “City of Sin” for a great girls’ night out! Travel a town or two over to change up the scenery! The possibilities for memorable bachelorette parties can range from the mild (a spa day) to the wild (dancing all night at the hottest club). Make sure to follow the usual bachelorette rules: plan activities the bride will like (ask for her input ahead of time!), along with inviting only the people she wants and to make sure she doesn’t pay for anything. Other than that, anything goes! 

We may not have the money or the resources of celebrities but we can be resourceful and creative! 

Hopefully this list of celebrity inspired events turned into DIY parties will encourage you to pick up the latest US Weekly and get busy planning your own fabulous summer soiree! 

Arianna is a full-time mom and a fashion-lover, world traveler, animal lover, and family woman extraordinaire. She loves to cook and bake, travel to new places, share great fashion finds, and spend time doing crafts and projects at home with her kids. She’s got a crazy busy life, but she wouldn’t have it any other way! Follow her blog at

Monday, July 1, 2013

Thanks for the memories...

I haven't written in over a week.  Truth is I could have written something. 

I could have written about how my impulsive nature lead to us getting a little teeny tiny baby kitty that had been abandoned on the side of the road with her siblings. WHO DOES THAT???

I could have written about my kids.  I could have written about my night away with my husband.  Or about an extremely drunk girl who was running her mouth to a couple with a fussy baby at a baseball game.  WHO DOES THAT???

But I didn't write anything.

Just a few days ago, a very dear family friend...who was one my mom's best friends and also the stepmother of one of my best friends (are you still with me?)...passed away.  She was very ill and while it is a relief that she is no longer suffering, it is unfair that she had to even suffer from ANYTHING in the first place.

You see, this woman was loved by so many.

She was one of the funniest, best storytellers I have ever met.  The way she delivered a story was priceless.  I can hear her voice right now if I close my eyes.

She was so kind to everyone.  She would strike up a conversation with strangers...and would usually make fast friends with anyone she met.

She was loyal.  And funny.  And had such a good heart.  But she could also tell it like it is. 

She knew how to have a good time.  Oh, yes she certainly did.

She was a great mother, wife, grandmother, aunt, and friend.  She was just a terrific person.

And the past few days we have all been telling stories about her, looking at pictures, laughing, crying, and just sharing memories.

Because all that is left when you are gone are memories.

Which got me do I want to be remembered?

How do we all want to be remembered?  I'll tell you what...if even half of what I wrote above could also be said about me when I am gone, I would be satisfied. 

If I have learned anything about life, it's that it can be unfair.  The future is not in our control.  You never know tomorrow will bring.

But that doesn't mean we can't have a good time on this crazy roller coaster of life.  That doesn't mean that we can't try to live each day to the fullest.  We can laugh and cry and celebrate and be happy and be sad and be all of those things and feel all of the feelings. 

And when it's all said and done, we can hope that we have left those that love us with great memories to comfort them and make them smile.

Thanks for the memories, Barb.  You will never be forgotten.

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