Tuesday, March 25, 2014

How to Keep the Home Fires Burning

If you are looking for tips on how to have a successful marriage, you came to the wrong right place. If there is one thing I know, it's how to keep the home fires burning. Just ask my husband. Wait, don't ask him. Just trust me.

So here are my TOP 10 tips on how to succeed in love and marriage:

10.  Pay no mind to people bragging about their significant others on Facebook.  It's all Lies.  LIES, I tell ya.

9.  If you wake up first, make the damn coffee.

8.  If your spouse is sick, sleep on the sofa. Don't just keep complaining about how my their coughing is keeping you up all night. I am They are sick, for God's sake. Man up and sleep somewhere else.

7.  Remember: It's cheaper to keep her.

6.  Talk about stuff other than the kids. Like bills, necessary home repairs, and politics. No...wait.  Maybe just talk about the kids.

5.  Have friends. The fact that my friends allow me to whine and complain incessantly really saves my marriage some days.

4.  Admit you are wrong, even if you think you might be right. You can always rehash the whole argument in a month anyway.

3.  Like a good bra, be supportive.

2.  It's okay to go to bed mad...because if not, you will stay up all night fighting and then be even more angry and tired. And that helps no one. Trust me, just go the eff to bed.

And #1? Drumroll please...

1.  BUY OUR BOOK, I Just Want to Be Alone. 

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12 comments:

  1. It's cheaper to keep her. AMEN!!!!!!! :) Tweeted and shared!

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  2. 9. If you wake up first, make the damn coffee.
    Couldn't agree with you more!!

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  3. Just say, "Yes honey." ....and then do what you want.

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  4. I love all your advice. #6 is hard though.

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  5. Ahhhh.. #10.. EVERT. SINGLE. DAY people have to be all "Ohhhh I love my honey..." Hush up, buttercup! :)

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  6. Replies
    1. But always keep the bathroom door shut! Always!!!!!

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  7. Best piece of marriage advice: Kiss your spouse goodbye everytime you leave. And tell him you love him. You never know....

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  8. I used to think that sleeping on the sofa admitted defeat (in some bizarre marital realm) but I do it all of the time now...more so I don't disturb his sleep, rather than him disturbing mine. Works like a charm, we both get rest and we're both okay in morning. 21 years later, all is good in the hood!

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  9. There is a chance you're qualified for a complimentary $1,000 Amazon Gift Card.

    ReplyDelete

Even though I am horrible at responding to comments, I read every one (even the spam comments trying to sell me cheap Christian Louboutins). Leave a nice comment and I will buy you a drink...someday.