Attention! Attention! You're a bad mom.

Everywhere I look I see articles about what I'm doing wrong. What to do, what not to do, what I should be doing, or what I'm doing that is going to land my kid in therapy in 15 years. Didn't you know that you all are doing it wrong? Or at least that is what some people want you to believe.

Seriously. This very morning you might have said something to start the decline of your child's mental health. If you told them they looked cute or that they needed to hurry up because everyone is running late, RED FLAGS are flying everywhere. Didn't you know that you are scarring them for life?! Well at least according to this article about "seemingly harmless things" we say to our kids.

Or this article right here. You should never, ever, ever tell your kids that you are proud of them. Apparently that is BAD. So is telling them not to worry and that everything will be okay. You are setting them up for disaster with that one too, I guess.

Oh, and if you are not buying everything organic, you obviously want your precious little child's body to be filled with toxins. If you can't buy organic, for shame. But you can at least grow your own veggies and fruits. It's easy peasy. Spend days, or weeks, cultivating your garden. Then wait ALL SUMMER LONG to harvest those crops. And get just enough for one giant salad.

This article is also guilt-inducing super helpful. You should never, under any circumstances, give your kids cereal, granola bars, or juice boxes. They are all BAD BAD BAD. Instead whip up homemade protein bars and smoothies. I'll get right on that as soon as I finish my full work day, 3 loads of laundry, two softball games, and baths. And also after I pry this snack cake out of my 3 year old's hand. Oh, and don't you DARE order a damn pizza. Ever. It's like poison. You should only make homemade ones. If you order take-out, you obviously don't care about your kids' health. You clearly want them to be obese, unhealthy, and full of genetically modified ingredients.

Now before all you "good moms" bash me, I want to be clear that I feed my children a healthy diet and I buy organic when I can. I order pizza every now and then...and I make it, too. I try to raise confident, independent, smart, happy, healthy children. But I also tell them to hurry up when I am running late, like every single day.

This mom right here (I'm talking about me) wants to say ENOUGH is ENOUGH. I refuse to feel guilty about my choices. I do the very best that I can, and as long as you are doing that too, it's all good.

Now excuse me while I go order a pizza.