Unsolicited Advice for Parents (from people who aren't parents)

Have you ever been given unsolicited advice?  Isn't that just the best?

Well if you have not, you may find it hard to believe that there are people out there who give unwanted advice about things that they have no clue about.  Here are some things that some parents (not me, but someone that I know) have been told by people that have no children:

1. "You just have to be consistent with your kids when they misbehave."
Really, no shit Sherlock.  I know I have to be consistent (again, not talking about "me" personally, but someone I know might feel this way).  So at home there are consistent consequences for bad behavior, such as a warning followed by time out.  What do you do if you are somewhere and you just need your child to pipe down so you can get things done?  I know, I know...if they are being bad, you should just leave where you are immediately and tell them that it is because of their unacceptable behavior.  BUT what if you are at the store to get necessities and that is not an option?  When that happens, consistency goes out the window and you should always resort to bribery.  Whatever works, right?

2.  "You still need to make time for yourself and get out without your children."
Should I? Because I would never DREAM of doing that.  I couldn't imagine going out to a nice relaxing dinner without the kids in tow.  That sounds like torture.  OF COURSE I would like to get out without the kids, but wait until you have 3 children and see how many people are knocking down your door to babysit on a regular basis.

3.  "You should treat yourself to a day of shopping."
Awwww, so sweet of you to say that.  Are you going to pay for it?  No?  Well, then maybe you can pay for my kids' clothes or new shoes, or give money for this field trip or that book fair or picture day, or diapers, or formula, or groceries, or the MILLIONS of other things that I need to buy.  So sorry but no, a shopping spree is not on the agenda for me at this point.  You must have forgotten that a home day care is not a multimillion dollar corporation.  Thanks for the tip though;)

4.  "I am sure an large SUV would have given you the same amount of room as a minivan."
Well, I am sure it would have... if I wanted to climb over a whole row of seats to get to the third row.  Or I am sure that a nice large $50,000 SUV would do the trick, along with a $600 car payment.  So thanks but no thanks, I will take my minivan.  Good looking out though.

5.  "Just try to get everything done at night so you are not rushed in the morning."  
Honey, I have news for you, I would STILL be rushed in the morning.  That is just the way of life when you have children.  And here is some more breaking news...when my kids go to sleep, that last thing I want to do is get ready for the next day.  I am too busy keeping up with the Kardashians, checking out Rachel Zoe's latest "major" styling event or photo shoot, or checking in with my favorite Housewives.   I will accept the consequences in the morning.

So there you have it...just a few pieces of unwanted advice that might have been given to someone I know by people that need to keep their well meaning but useless words of wisdom to themselves. 

How about you? Has anyone ever given you unsolicited advice that made you want to dropkick them square in the teeth? Please share!