Friday, November 30, 2012

Give Me 5 for Friday: 5 Gifts NOT to buy my kids for Christmas

Give me 5 for Friday is back!  I took off last week for Thanksgiving break...but it's back.  You can all breathe a sigh of relief.

So it's the most wonderful time of the year...right?  Time to shop and spend money we really don't have.  Time to find just the right gift for family and friends.  Of course, Christmas is not all about the gifts.  It is about so much more.  But when it comes down to it, we all do buy gifts. kids will most definitely be getting gifts from family.  I could list tons of toys and unnecessary crap that my kids MUST HAVE for Christmas this year.  One being the gymnastics Dora doll.  My 4 year old wants this so badly.  But we have FOUR Dora dolls now that are rarely, if ever, receive any love and attention.  We don't need another...much less one that costs $40.

However, Dora doing back flips wouldn't even make it onto my top 5 things NOT to get my kids list.

What does make that list?  Well, continue to read and I will tell you.

Today's Give Me 5 for Friday is 5 gifts NOT to buy my kids for Christmas.

1.  The dog that poops game. 
WHAT THE EFF?  I know people that have this.  One of my best friends informed my that the stuff that comes out of that dog's rear end is not even like playdoh.  It's that slimy gak-like stuff.  Oh, and apparently it stains.  Fun times.

2.  Anything ALIVE.
As much as my adorable 4 year old wants a's a no go.  I can barely take care of the 14 year old cat we have.  She leaves me dead carcasses at the back door almost daily.  My backyard looks like Stephen King's Pet Cemetery.  Do you know what that stone cold killer would do to a precious kitten?  It wouldn't be pretty.  On the other had, my 130 pound St. Bernard would most likely love the shit out of a kitten.  She's a softie. 
Other living things also at risk of being a casualty includes, but is not limited to, hamsters, guinea pigs, and rabbits.  So let's just leave it at "Don't get a living creature for my kids for Christmas."

3.  Anything that requires extensive assembly.
We don't have the time for this and if we have to assemble it, it might just stay in the box.  My in laws are always really wonderful at assembling gifts that they give our children, so that's cool.  But if we have to spend hours doing it ourselves, it will result in an argument.  I want the holidays to be as peaceful and stress-free as possible.  No need for a domestic dispute, mmkay?

4.  Anything with liquids.
You might ask, what toy has liquids?  Well, I saw this really neato Chemistry set at one of those "learning toy stores".  ABSO-EFFING-LUTELY not.  I could not handle that.

5.  Musical Instruments.
I don't mean all musical instruments.  A keyboard or little guitar would be acceptable.  But any sort of flute, recorder, trumpet, or horn will be hidden away.  My youngest two daughters would play the crap out of those and for the mental health of all involved, I beg of you NOT to make us endure that. 

So there you have it.  5 things to steer clear of when doing Christmas shopping for my children...or ANY children for that matter.  Unless you have parental consent, it is safe to say that you should avoid gifts that are extremely messy, annoying, or alive. 

If you are really in a pickle and don't know what to get, consider the following: Gifts cards and /or cash.  I can guarantee that those will always be a hit with parents children.

Wishing you all a very merry, happy, and peaceful holiday season!

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