Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Maybe I'm not cut out for this - My Messy Beautiful

Have you ever had one of those days when you think...Maybe I'm not cut out for this mom thing?

Like seriously.  You are sitting there looking at your adorable kids and you think that this is way harder than anyone ever told you.

There are NO breaks.  The needs and wants and requests are endless.  Your sweet little children who were once innocent babies are screaming at each other and telling you that they wish the other one wasn't born.  Nothing is fair.  Nothing is easy.  Some days there is conflict 90% of the time...and the 10% that is peaceful consists of you just waiting for the peace to end but hoping it will last for just a few blissful moments longer.

Sometimes you sit and look at your one, two, three, four...or even more children and you think...hmmmm, I don't remember signing up for this job.

That's the real kicker right there.  It isn't a job.  It's not something you can quit.

It's a choice.  A privilege.  A gift (even though YES, sometimes you wish it came with a gift receipt).  It's something that you will most likely look back on with fondness...and you will want to remember it all.

Picture this.  You just called your kids "jerks".  (Ahem...not that I have ever done that.  Lord, no.)  You have flown off the handle.  You have given yet another lecture on how there are children in this world who NEVER get the special things they get and that you are sick of them being unappreciative.  You have told them to clean their rooms, yet you are the one sitting there doing all of the cleaning while dropping f-bombs under your breath.  Or out loud.  Hey, I won't judge.  The kids are watching home videos of Christmas 2010 and your 4 year old starts crying because her sister got a better gift than her...OVER TWO YEARS AGO.  And you are seriously questioning where the hell you went wrong.

Guess what?  THAT'S OKAY.

It's fine to get annoyed with your kids.  It's okay to question your choices.  It's perfectly acceptable to get pissed off...because I'll be damned if this gig isn't some 24/7 hard ass work.

It is exhausting and anyone that tells you otherwise IS A LIAR. 

But you are doing fine.  You can always, always, always try again.  And you can try to be better.  You ARE cut out for this mom thing.  If you aren't sure about that, give your kids the option to move out and see what they say. (Ahem...not that I have done that either.)

I bet they don't want to move out though.  I bet that the only mom they want is YOU.

Because you are doing just fine and they will never remember the day you called them jerks. Or at least I hope not.



This essay and I are part of the Messy, Beautiful Warrior Project — To learn more and join us, CLICK HERE! And to learn about the New York Times Bestselling Memoir Carry On Warrior: The Power of Embracing Your Messy, Beautiful Life, just released in paperback, CLICK HERE! 

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1 comment:

  1. Thank you. Sometimes I really think they would be better off if I let dad just raise them. The no break, EVER, thing can get mighty exhausting. No one thinks straight when exhausted! I needed to hear this today. So, thank you.

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