Beauty and the Beast is Totally Effed Up

I LOVE Disney movies. My kids LOVE Disney movies. My 3 year old is going through an obsession with watching Beauty and the Beast in our van whenever we are driving anywhere. EVERY TIME. ALL THE TIME.

Luckily, I thoroughly enjoy singing along to the songs. (Although my kids do NOT enjoy my singing. Obviously, something is wrong with their hearing and they should be checked by an audiologist ASAP.)

Anywho, where was I? Oh yes, Beauty and the Beast. So after listening to the movie approximately 3,486 times and doing some deep thinking, I have come to a conclusion. The movie is F&CKED UP. For real.

1.  The Beast is kind of a prick in the beginning and deserves to be taught a lesson. But I think it's a little extreme to punish his whole staff, including a child. That's messed up. Poor Chip.

2.  But speaking of children, if you listen closely to the opening story about how the curse came to be, it says that the curse had been in effect for 10 years and the flower will only bloom until the prince's 21st birthday. So the prince was cursed when he was 11? I have no words...

3.  When Belle arrives to save her father and volunteers to take his place, the Beast allows it.  Fine, I get that part. But then the whole staff automatically think that this new "prisoner" will fall in love with their master and break the spell? What are they smoking?

4.  Then the staff, who seem as sweet as can be, continue to believe that Belle will fall in love with the Beast, even though he is a supreme d*ck to her and, oh that's right, CONTINUES TO HOLD HER CAPTIVE.

5.  Does the staff help Belle escape? Nope. They keep her in the castle because they are selfish and only think of themselves and the spell (even though I still hold firm on the fact that the spell was unfair and they were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time).

6.  But then when the Beast flies off the handle (major anger issues) because Belle went to the West Wing, she escapes with no problem at all. If it was that easy, why did she wait so long?

7.  Then low and behold, Belle DOES start to fall in love with the Beast. Sure, that's realistic. Stockholm Syndrome at it's finest. Take note, kids. This is real romance.

There are so many other messed up parts. And questions. Oh, the questions I have about this movie!

They include, but are not limited to:

1.  What kind of animal is "The Beast"?

2.  How did no one know about the Beast or his castle when apparently it was a short walk from the village?

3.  How come in every other follow up, straight to DVD movie based on Beauty and the Beast, the Beast is still a beast and not human. WHY DISNEY? I don't get it.

And finally, I leave you with this little gem. What fresh hell is this?

 

Source