Reading between the lines (of Status Updates and Tweets)

Social media is fun.  But I'll be damned if sometimes it isn't annoying as f*ck!

I read people's status updates and tweets and all the crap they pin...and I think HOW THE HELL does she have time to do that?  Or MUST BE NICE! Or even worse, I think Okay you little pain in the ass, we got the picture.  Your life is pure bliss and perfection.

However...I know, you know, we ALL know, that what people put out there isn't all that it seems.  Sometimes we have to read between the lines.

And how do you do that?  Well, I'm here to help.

Check out some sample status updates and tweets and see how they can be interpreted.

Note: These are NOT real tweets and updates.  They are totally fabricated for your reading pleasure.  But if you are guilty of writing something like this...just know that I see through your little facade.  For real.

Tweet:  Awesome night with the kids!  #lovemyfamily #mykidsaremylife.
Translation:  The kids fought A LOT and I drank wine. 

Status Update:  Had a great day at work today. I never thought I could love a job this much!
Translation:  Some of my coworkers and my boss are my facebook friends so I can't say how bad my job blew today.

Status Update:  Getting ready for a great dinner.  Tried a new recipe tonight and I hope everyone loves it!  Cooking for my family makes me so happy :)
Translation:  I swear to Christ that I will flip my shit if no one in my family appreciates this effing meal.

Tweet:  Time to go winter shopping!!! #lovemybootsandsweaters
Translation:  I love that my sweaters cover my muffin top.

Status Update:  AHHHHH! So stressed.
Translation:  I just want everyone to ask me why I am stressed.  Even though I will most likely offer a vague response when they ask.

Tweet:  Busy, busy, busy!
Translation:  I am not that busy because I took the time to tweet about how busy I am.

Tweet:  Going for a run.  #fitnessisfun #Ilovetorun
Translation:  I need to run off the calories from that milkshake I ate last night.  Okay, I ate the fries too.

Status Update:  *Posts picture of selfie*  Ugh, this is what my hubby has to deal with in the morning.  I'm a hot mess! LOL! FML. SMH...Lolololol
Translation:  I am not a hot mess.  I actually think I'm pretty decent...or I wouldn't have posted this pic.  Please compliment me.  Thanks.  Oh, and I like to post all of those stupid acronyms on my updates.

Tweet:  Girls night out.  Woohoo!  #lovemyfriends
Translation:  Hahahahahahahaha....I get a night out and you don't.  Right now you are watching Bubble Guppies and praying your kids fall asleep while I'm on my fourth glass of Pinot Grigio and my second Red Headed Slut shot.

Status Update:  Thank goodness the cleaning lady comes today!  This place is a mess.
Translation:  All you suckas that don't have a cleaning lady...sorry about your luck.  I can afford that luxury and I want to share that fact in a seemingly discreet yet obvious way.

Tweet:  Who knew it would be so hard to choose a new car?  #carshoppingisstressful #firstworldproblems
Translation:  It's not stressful.  I just want everyone to know that I get to pick out a new car.

Status Update:  My house is a mess and the kids won't stop arguing.  Is it bedtime yet?
Translation:  My house is a mess and the kids won't stop arguing.  Is it bedtime yet?

Walking the fine line between freedom and guilt.

When I went back to working out of the home, I knew things would change.  I knew it would be difficult...and rewarding.  I knew that there would be benefits...and also drawbacks.

And I was right.

But what surprises me is the fine line that I walk everyday between the freedom that I feel at work and the guilt that I feel.

At work, I can get things done without someone CONSTANTLY needing or wanting my attention.  I can eat lunch, and talk to adults, and make phone calls.  Yes, I am also working with kids most of the day.  But these kids can feed themselves.  They go to the bathroom independently.  They don't whine or argue with me (they are saving it up all day for their parents when they get home). 

I actually like my job.  I like what I am doing.  I like the school.  I like the kids.  I don't mind the paperwork or the meetings.

It gives me a sense of freedom that I think I was missing over the past few years.

But it also gives me a sense of guilt at times.

Those times when I am struggling to get the kids up in the morning and running around the house like a raving maniac because I am going to be late .  And I feel like all I am doing is barking out orders...put your shoes on...finish breakfast...make sure you have all of your stuff ready to go...brush your teeth....no, you can't have a cookie for breakfast...fine, just eat the damn cookie THEN brush your teeth.

Those times when my youngest doesn't want to go to preschool and runs from me screaming "ME DON'T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL!".  Or even worse...she screams "ME WANT TO STAY HOME WITH YOU!".  Then I want to cry.  I want to say Sure baby, you can stay home with me.  But the problem is, she can't.  She can't stay home because I can't stay home.  I have to leave her to go spend time with other peoples' children.

You see, that's what many of us teachers do.  We leave our children at daycare or preschool or school, and we go focus our attention on the children of others.  That's the nature of the job.

And again, I like my job.  But...ugh, the guilt.  The guilt can be a killer.

So it's a fine line...and I am trying to walk the line everyday without falling on my face.

I Don't Know If I'm Doing It Right.

I read many, many other blogs.  I really enjoy doing that.  I read blogs written by moms, and dads, and survivors, and people struggling with addiction or infertility or illness.  I read blogs that are funny or heartwarming or happy or sad or sometimes a little of everything.

Lately I have come across some posts that I really have enjoyed reading, but they left me feeling so many mixed emotions.

Wow, that was a wake up call.

Maybe I'm not doing the best job here.  

Maybe I am rushing through life some days.  

Maybe I don't appreciate enough.  Or maybe I appreciate things too much.  

Maybe I over think things.  

Maybe I made the wrong choice in leaving my career 4 years ago to have a home daycare and be home with my kids or maybe I am making the wrong decision going back to being a full time, working out of the home mom.

Maybe I am not using the right words when I talk to my girls and therefore will lead them to a life of serious issues and countless hours in therapy.  

Maybe I am not making them be as independent as they could be.  Maybe I am expecting them to be more independent than they should be at this age.

All I can say to all of this is a big resounding I DON'T KNOW IF I AM DOING IT RIGHT.  (I'm actually pretty sure that I am doing many, many things wrong.)

But what I do know is that some days I am going to rush because I am running late.  Yes, I might hurry my kids in the morning...because I have to go to something called a J-O-B and they have to learn to be on time for stuff like that.  You can't be late to work or school just because the sun is shining and you want to frolic in the yard and take it all in or because your sister took your Barbie and you want to fight about it or because there is a new episode of Austin and Ally on and you just have to watch it even though it will come on 67 times this week.  The world is not always going to wait for you.

Maybe I am going to tell them to cut it out with the snacks or desserts because NO YOU CAN'T snack all day and eat 7 pounds of sugar.  They have to know that too.

Maybe I will talk about losing weight in front of them (ME, not them)...because if I am working hard at something like training for a half marathon and I lose some weight, I should be proud of that because I am trying to be healthier.  There is nothing wrong with that.

There may be times when I call them "princess" or tell them they are "pretty" or "beautiful".  What the hell.  I can't keep track of all the appropriate, empowering things to say.  But you can bet that I will also tell them that they are smart or funny or talented or interesting or faster than ANY of the boys in their class. 

Some days I will yell at them and say bad words (yes, those bad four letter words)...because I am mad and frustrated and tired and they just need to CUT THAT SHIT OUT.

But EVERY SINGE DAY my kids will know that there is nothing in life more important to me than them.

Even on days that mommy rushes or yells or plays on her phone or writes this damn blog while she should be reading books or going over sight words or listening to them sing Taylor Swift songs for the 243rd time this week, there is NOTHING that is more important.  They will always be my top priority.  Each one of them will know that they are so, so loved.

And that's all that really matters. 

Help Me Pick My New Glasses!

I have a confession.  My glasses broke months ago...and instead of going to get a new pair, I have been wearing a pair from 2001.  They are not even the correct prescription and they are crooked and they make me look like a hot mess.

We actually have vision insurance too.  But the problem is that I have to decide whether or not to use my insurance to pay for EITHER contacts or glasses.  So I usually choose contacts.  Then I put off getting glasses because they are SO DAMN expensive.

Well, not any more!

I found a site that offers a GREAT selection of eyeglasses at affordable prices.  (In fact, they have a 110% lowest price guarantee!).  The site is called GlassesUSA.com and they have so many different glasses to choose from that I don't know where to start!

And even though I was a little leery of ordering online eyeglasses, I kind of know what style I like already so it shouldn't be too risky.

SO here's what I am going to do.  I will post 3 styles of glasses that I like, and I want YOU to help me choose.

Before I post my 3 choices, I wanted to share a really cool, fun feature from the GlassesUSA.com site.  It is called the Virtual Mirror.  Check it out!



Now, here are my 3 choices!  All of the below images where taken directly from GlassesUSA.com.

A.
 
                          Tyler

B.

                       Bendetto

C.

    Elizabeth Arden EA1071 Black

What do you think?  Leave a comment and just tell me if you think I should choose A, B, or C.  I really appreciate your help!  I would love to order glasses by the end of next week so I'll let you know what I choose!

And if you are in the market for new glasses, I really recommend checking out GlassesUSA.com!

They have awesome prices and great deals...especially now at back to school time (40% off AND free shipping!)

My readers can also get an extra 10% your order or prescription eyeglasses using the code BLOG10.

Disclosure:  This is a sponsored post, but all opinions in this post are my own.

It's been 30 days...and the results are in (PLUS a GIVEAWAY!!!)

I mentioned before that I am training for a half marathon in September.  And yes, it's true.  I'm doing that and I'm getting there.  Although I am still pretty nervous about the whole 13.1 MILE THING.  I am up to 8 miles now...and I need to really put in the time this next month.

But anywho...I was wishing and hoping that I would shed a few unwanted pounds in the course of training for it.  But you can wish and hope all you want, the weight won't come off unless you do the "work".

And by "work" I mean all that crappy exercising and eating healthy stuff.

So I got the first part down, the exercising.  It was always the eating part that messed me up.

Then I saw some posts from one of my blogger pals, Liz.  She is also known as the Funny Postpartum Lady.  And she has now started a new site called New Mom Body.  Well she is bad ass.  She runs and exercises and LOOKS AWESOME!

See for yourself!


If you visit Liz's New Mom Body site, you will see that it is a Plexus Worldwide site.  I encourage you to go take a little looksy (and I really loved the tab 10 Reasons to try the Plexus Products).  Right there you will see why you may be interested in trying these products.  I know just looking at Liz's results convinced me!

So we got in touch with each other and I decided to try Plexus Slim along with the Accelerator for 30 days...and then I would do a results post.

Well, HERE IT IS!

My 30 days are up and the results are in.

First, let me tell you that I am not a shake drinker.  They usually taste chalky to me and I have a hard time getting them down.  BUT the Plexus Slim "pink drink" is NOT like that at all.  You mix one packet with 16 oz. of water and drink it in the morning.  Then I took the Accelerator capsule with that.  I usually did this right after a light breakfast.

What I loved about the products was that they didn't make me feel jittery.  They also DEFINITELY curbed my appetite and cravings.  I was able to eat less and feel full.  Plus, I didn't snack as much during the day (which is usually my downfall).

So are you ready for my before and after picture?

Listen, before I post it, know that this is a BIG DEAL for me.  I don't like wearing a bathing suit in my own back yard...let alone posting a picture of me in one for millions to see.  Okay, maybe thousands, or hundreds.  Well dozens...dozens of people will see this.  But oh well.

Here goes.


After 30 days, I am down about 8 pounds.

I feel like I have toned up more, probably because of my increased mileage with my running.  But I have also added some free weights in twice a week (trying to move that to 3 or 4 times a week). 

So after this 30 day trial, I will most definitely be continuing with the Plexus products.

And guess what?

YOU can try it too.  Liz and I have teamed up to offer a 7 day trial giveaway!!!!

Just enter below.  The giveaway ends next Monday night and I will announce a winner on Tuesday.

Good Luck!

a Rafflecopter giveaway