My kids are no longer babies.
The youngest is almost 19 months and she is so independent that even if I try to "baby" her a bit, it doesn't pan out. The middle will be 4 next week. She doesn't even need help in the bathroom anymore, for god's sake. The oldest will be starting second grade in a week and a half. SECOND GRADE! Really?
There was a time a few months ago, when I posted about how newborns rip my heart out with their cuteness and make me have moments of temporary insanity when I could imagine having another little bundle of joy.
Well, that time has passed. My sister in law and brother in law had a baby last week while we were on vacation (he was 5 weeks early, that little bugger!). Normally, this would give me a serious case of baby fever. Not this time. Although, I can't wait to see him and get my hands on that little guy, I can pretty much with 100% certainty tell you that I will be fine with it. I will be fine handing him back over and heading home to my 3 "not babies".
Why the sudden change? Well, it wasn't so sudden. It has been happening gradually.
First, I am ready to go back to teaching. One more year of the home daycare should do it for me. I have no real need for pack and plays, bouncy seats, highchairs, or exersaucers. Yet because of the daycare, I still have them. I don't need to make bottles or clean bottles anymore. Yet because of the daycare, I still do it. It's fine though. It's been a great way to work from home and be with my kids. But next year, my middle will be entering Kindergarten. There is no need for me to continue this (at least, financially) after that point. I can get rid of all my baby crap!!! YAY! And I won't be sad at all. I know this much is true.
Secondly, as I mentioned, we were on vacation last week (post on that coming soon). As much fun as it was and as much as the kids LOVED Disney World, it was exhausting. Traveling with a 19 month old is not that easy. It really made me realize how many opportunities we will have as the kids get older. More flexibility...more vacation options.
Finally, I want to get myself back a bit. I have been plugging away at it over the past year. But I need to get serious (another post about that coming soon). I need, and want, more time to exercise. I want more time to get myself ready when we go out. I want to skip the ponytail and actually do something with my hair (and I do, on occasion). With young kids, it's always rush, rush, rush. Get them ALL ready then have about 10 minutes for yourself. I can't wait until they get themselves ready...and look presentable to boot.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not rushing it. I know that time flies. I know this. I try to cherish all of the time that I have with my kids while they are little. I try.
Isn't it something that all moms (or parents, for that matter) face? You want your kids to stay babies but you want them to grow older at the same time? You long for a little independence, but you don't want to wish the time away? That's were I am right now. Sometimes, I want to freeze time. Right now. Sometimes I want to hit the fast forward button...just a few years. Not much, but move ahead to a time of no diapers, no naps, no crankiness from the no nap, no strollers. You see what I am saying here? It's HARD having young children. It fun and exciting and exhausting and hard.
So, the time has come. Now, I can say this and mean it. I am ready to say bye, bye baby.
And I really look forward to what the future holds for my girls as they grow. And what the future holds for all of us:)