Friday, August 3, 2012

Are you kidding me?! Murphy's Law: Parents Edition

You all know Murphy's Law.  Anything that can go wrong, does.

This happens quite frequently when you are dealing with children.  Here are some examples:

1.  When you are running late, a child will generally crap themselves or have to use the bathroom.

2.  When they are wearing nice clothes, a child will get EXTREMELY dirty.  I mean, the kind of dirty when you question what the stains are even from and if they will ever come out.

3.  When YOU are wearing nice clothes, a child will put their grubby, sticky, dirty little hands all over you.

4.  If you have vacation plans, a child will usually get sick before or during the vacation.

5.  As soon as you sit down to relax (if that EVER, in fact, miraculously happens), a child will need to for something veeerrrrrryyyy important.  It will turn out that what they need is not important at all, but it's enough to crush your hopes for relaxation.

6.  When you are extra tired, the kids will wake up EXTRA early.

7.  When you really NEED them to nap, they won't.

8.  After washing and drying a whole load of clothes, you will find the gum sneakily hidden in your kid's pocket.

9.  Your child will wet the bed or have an accident the very.same.night that you put clean sheets on their bed.

10.  As soon as you begin talking on the phone (whether it's to a friend, family member, doctor, credit card collections department, or the damn president of the United States), your child will act out or need you for another so-called "emergency".

11.  When you have chocolate milk, the child will want strawberry milk.  When you have strawberry milk, they will demand request chocolate.  When you get more chocolate milk, only apple juice will do. 

12.  When you forget a change of clothes, your child will most definitely need them.

13.  If you clean the house, the kids will make it their ultimate goal to make it even messier than it was before you cleaned.

14.  If you get new carpet or furniture, the kids will spill something.

15.  As soon as you say "Be careful", a child will fall and get hurt.


  1. All of this is so true. So true. Momming is so hard.

  2. It's like you had a window into my day! So very very true!

  3. So true! Especially the bedwetting one!

  4. In our house it's Chapstick that sneaks its way into the washer AND dryer. I'm thinking of outlawing Chapstick and instead making it MANDATORY to use greasy, slimey Vaseline on chapped lips. It'll be nasty but at least they can't hide it in their pockets and I will never have to wash it.

    Great blog!!


  5. GAH!!! amen. Holy crap. Kids are awesome.

  6. Hillarious sounds like you have kids!!!

  7. Every single one. mmm hmm Every. Single. One!

  8. Yes! For me #3 happens before I can get out of the door!

  9. Stopping by from the Blog Hop! My youngest had the uncanny ability to need a diaper change as soon as I buckled him in his car seat. It was almost always when we were running late or really close to running late.

  10. So true! I also find that they take their shoes off the second before we arrive (and we are already late) and then can't find the shoes they just took off. C'mon! My car isn't that big!!!
    Tracy @


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