Saturday, February 25, 2012

Come ONE. Please don't come all.

I just had to write about this and I need to know what other people think.

If your kid, who is school age, gets invited to a birthday party, do you bring your other children along?

Please say no.  Please say you don't so I know that I am not alone here.  Well, I actually know I'm not alone because my friend and I were talking about this yesterday and she is so on my side.  Or really, I'm on her side because she was the one who brought it up.

I am not talking about if you are going to a little family party or a party for your friends' children.  Then, by all means bring the whole fam along.  But if your 6 year old gets invited to a party someplace like Chuck E. Cheese and it's for a classmate that your other children clearly do not know, would you bring along your other child(ren)?

I know your other kids may be bummed that they didn't get to go.  But guess what, little Johnny? You will get your chance to go to your own friend's party someday and your older sister Sue won't get to go.  That's life, buddy.

Not only do I think that you shouldn't bring the other kid(s) along...I think that you most certainly should not call the parent of the birthday boy or girl and see what they think.  All you are doing is putting them on the spot.  Then the parent feels bad and says yes when clearly your other kid WAS NOT invited.  Then what?  Do they have to make an extra goody bag? Does your other kid sing happy birthday and partake in the cake eating fesitivites?  Or do you put them off by themselves with a fountain soda and a crappy slice of pizza and hope they don't put up a fight?

My oldest is in 1st grade and she is SO on the party circuit this year.  The girl has been to more parties in one year than I have been to in a decade.  It's getting out of hand.  But I will tell you this.  Not once did I bring along my 3 year old.  It would have ended badly for everyone involved, trust me.  Plus, I would never do that.  She wasn't invited to that party.  She needs to learn that about life.  (Even though more than once I just told her we were going to something for school and most definitely NOT a party.  It was kind of true.  They were parties for school friends.)

But again, someday my 3 year old will go to a party and her older or younger sister won't get to go.  It's all relative. 

I would love to know what other people think about this.  Please share your thoughts!!!


  1. I've brought my kids with to a pizza party place, but we don't sit at the same table as the party and I purchase our own food. The one invited goes and sits with the party. I do this because alot of times I'm going somewhere with the next kid and don't want to go all the way back home. And/or because I may not trust the parents to keep a good eye on my child.
    I don't bring them with to a b-day party at a house, unless it is specified on the invite that you can 'bring the family' or something like that. I agree with your opinion on this. I've had the 'whole family' brought to a pizza place for my kid's party before, and with it costing $10 per kid, I say something, passive aggressively, like, 'She's got her 12 friends here' to the waiter, so they know the other kiddos are stragglers and I'm not paying.

  2. Once my kids are about 6 or so I don't go with them to parties at all; I drop them off and pick them up. Having said that, because my husband is a shift worker I have to make the choice between my kids not going to the party at all or bringing the siblings along. If the party is at a party place, I've brought my other kids but not sat with the party and paid for my other children's food and games but if it's at someone's house I've just declined the invite.

  3. Absolutely not! If this person is a very close friend and knows both kids and you need to bring both kids because hubs is out of town, or whatever the excuse- then you bring double the gifts for damn sure! I would never assume it's okay to bring siblings.

  4. I think it's completely fine to bring your other kids if it is somewhere and you can get a separate table or something like that. But calling to ask if they can come along just seems to put the parent throwing the party in a tough position. This party that I was referring to is at an indoor moon bounce place where only 25 kids can be in attendance at each party. So I just couldn't believe parents really wanted to bring the "stragglers" (btw, love the passive aggressive comment to address the above stragglers:) Plus this place is $12 per kid!

  5. Oh if I got that phone call from the parent asking if it was ok to bring another child I would not be nice and agree to it. Parties are expensive, it is bad enough that you are expected to invite the whole class at school, but their siblings too, no way!

  6. I've had this happen on several occasions. I think its rude and too bad the other kid didn't get a goody bag. Tough shit.

  7. Let me add...the mom brought all her kids PLUS one of her friends kids. I was peeved. And it was at a jumper place that charges per kid.

  8. I have made choices as to who the child is, and if we are even going. Both of my girls are in school, and have mixed friends, even though they are two grades apart, ehich makes it easier for the inviting!
    Ive gone to parties at pizza places, and always paid for the child not invited, because to show up with extra people an4 expect to be accomodated is rediculous!
    I had a party for my girls (theyre almost a yr apart in age, with birthdays in the same week) at pizza places, and was appalled when two of the invited guests decided to bring their ENTIRE family of 10, and expected to be fed! Ontop of it, they tried to get upset that "joking" with me about not continuiously supplying them with food being rude....i ever so sweetly turned and said, "theres a menu and a salad bar up front...knock urselves out!"


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