Sunday, February 19, 2012

"Don't bite your sister's butt" and other stuff moms say

Words that I have said as a mom that I never thought I would utter...

1.  "Gentle with the cat.  She doesn't like her back smashed to the ground like that."
Funny Confession Ecard: Touch me again kid and I will cut you. Fact.

2.  "Just one bite of broccoli and you can have that ice cream sundae."

3.  "Please don't wipe your nose on the sofa."

4.  "Can't I have one godforsaken second alone?  Shut the bathroom door and go play in your room."

5.  "Don't bite your sister's butt."

6.  "If you don't pick these toys up, every single one is going in the trash."

7.  "I don't care if Santa brought them, I will write him a letter and tell him how you disrespected him by leaving them all out when you knew I was coming back up with a trash bag."

8.  "Now don't pee pee in those underwear.  Dora will be so sad if you get her all wet."

9.  "Ohhhh look, a new episode of Max and Ruby!!!"  (said with true honest to goodness excitement...probably because it meant about 28 minutes of peace)

10.  "Go grab Mommy one of those blue sodas out of Daddy's little fridge."

11.  "When you are at school, pleeeaaase try not the say the word poopy so much. Your teachers won't like that. "
12.  "The person who owns Target said we can't come back until you know how to behave there."

13.  "Please do not put (insert: paper, dog treat, crayons, trash, dirt, sand, etc) into your mouth!"

14.  "If you keep jumping on the bed, you will fall off and we will have to go straight to the Children's hospital.  Is that what you want?"

15.  "Fine, but if you get a cast put on then you can't get it wet.  That means no swimming and also no baths so you will be super stinky."

16.  "No, we can not get a baby jaguar." (Thanks a whole hell of a lot Diego)
So cute.  Won't be so cute when it grows to full size and fatally mauls you.  Where is that disclaimer on Nick Jr?

17.  "Maybe someday we can go to China but I don't know if Kai-lan can come with us."

18.  "Guess what Mommy bought? Lunchables!!"  (They are grotesque but my kids love them and think that they are a "special" treat.)

19.  "It's dancy dance time.  Yay, it's Biz's beat of the day." (who knew Biz Markie had a future beyond "You Say He's Just a Friend")

20.  "Ok, so do you want to listen to Kidz Bop or Laurie Berkner Band?"

I am sure this list could be endless.

PLEASE share some things that you may have said that you NEVER ever thought would come from your mouth! 

1 comment:

Even though I am horrible at responding to comments, I read every one (even the spam comments trying to sell me cheap Christian Louboutins). Leave a nice comment and I will buy you a drink...someday.