A Tale of Two Fishes

Once upon a time, on a beautiful fall weekend, a young and vibrant and slim (hey, it's my damn story) mother took her 3 very well behaved young daughters to the fall festival at the eldest daughter's school.  The equally young and vibrant father was working at the fall festival on that crisp morning.

The young girls had one goal in mind.  That goal was to get to the goldfish game and win new goldfish to take home and love.  On the previous year, this was the same goal but the mother of the girls stalled for as long as possible and when they arrived at the goldfish game, all the fish were gone.  The girls sulked.  The mother said, "Oh, that's too bad.  Maybe next year."

Well, next year had arrived.  After stalling for as long as possible, the girls finally got to the goldfish game.  They were elated to find MANY goldfish still available.  Luckily, the 2 oldest girls BOTH won a fish.  The mother silently cursed out the school for giving goldfish as a prize cheered.  Needless to say, the father was dismayed equally as excited when the girls ran to show him their prize.

What a horrible wonderful prize!

After stopping at a few stores on the way rushing home, the girls prepared the tank and added their new pets.  After 4 days of excitement and interest in these fish, BOTH FISH DIED.

The eldest daughter was devastated.  She screamed and cried for over an hour.  She begged for her fish to come back.  She sobbed.  She asked to go get a new fish immediately. 

The middle daughter shrugged and said she didn't even like orange fish.  She would really prefer a kitten.  She would settle for a purple fish, however.

The youngest daughter continued to eat her fourth Popsicle of the day and was completely oblivious.

The mother promised that they would go the next day to get a better fish...a heartier fish that would stand the test of time. 

Again, the father was dismayed in total agreement.

The next day, after school, the family took the long journey to Pet Smart.  There the young girls chose a fish, not purple as expected, but a bright reddish pink color.  The fish was a male.  The girls would not accept that.  The fish would now be a female.  The girls chose a new tank with filter, a purple plant, and a pink castle for their transgender fish. 

The mother begrudgingly happily paid $44 and set off for home.

The girls were so excited. 

They named their fish "Princess Sparkles".

The tank was set up, the water was treated and added, and the girls begged to add the fish. 
"Not yet, we must get the fish used to the water temperature of his her new home."  The fish was transferred to a plastic bag with the water from the store and placed gingerly inside of the new tank.  Every 30 minutes the mother poured out some pet store water and added a little more water from the new tank.

The girls went to bed and dreamed of beautiful fish and underwater castles. 

The mother stayed up past freakin' midnight to acclimate the damn fish to the new water.  After 4 hours, the fish was added to the tank.  The mother could not explain why she watched Princess Sparkles with such interest for 20 minutes swimming in the new tank.  Finally, she pulled herself away from the fish and got ready for bed...after checking on the fish 3 more times.

Introducing... Princess Sparkles

Everyone is now so happy to have Princess Sparkles as a member of our family, except including the father. 

Let's hope that this fish lasts longer than 4 days...because the mother's young girls' hearts could not take it if Princess Sparkles has to join the others in the land of raw sewage.

Moral of the story: The mother is a dumbass for going to get another fish.  This will not end well.