Did you know that October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month? Well, it is. And October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. You can read about it at www.october15th.com
Many, many people have suffered from a pregnancy loss, stillbirth, or infant loss. If not, they know someone who has. Many times, people don't share their experience with others. They remain silent and keep it to themselves. Other times, people don't acknowledge it when they know this has happened to someone because they don't want to feel uncomfortable or make the other person uncomfortable.
1. You SHOULD acknowledge the person's loss. Address it. Tell them that you are sorry for their loss.
2. You SHOULD let them talk about it. This will help them in their grieving process.
3. Their is no right or wrong way to grieve. There is no timeline for when they should be "over it". Everyone is different. Everyone's grief is different.
4. You should NOT ignore it or act like it never happened. Man (or woman) up and reread #1.
5. You should NOT use cliches when talking to the person who suffered a pregnancy loss.
Everything happens for a reason.
It was for the best.
It's was God's will.
It will all work out in the end.
Yada, yada, yada. It's all bullcrap. Keep the cliches to yourself.
How do I know this?
Because I am the face. I am 1 in 4. I have suffered two pregnancy losses.
I am the face.
Visit www.iamtheface.org to learn more.
As a woman that has been fortunate enough to not experience this, I am totally guilty of either #4) not aknowledging the other person's loss (because I have no freakin' idea what the hell to say) or #5) using the cliches you listed when it is brought up (because I have no freakin' idea what the hell to say). I'm horrible at consoling someone going through a loss of any kind. Thanks for the insight that it's alright to not know what to say. Just aknowledging it and being there is enough. <3
ReplyDeleteIt's perfectly fine to not know what to say:) I am the same way..sometimes the best thing to say is "I'm sorry...this sucks!"
Delete*sniffing away at the computer* Love you lady. I'm so glad you wrote this. Thank you for reading mine and helping others by sharing.
ReplyDeleteThank YOU for sharing!!! I never would have wrote this if I hadn't read yours. And it comes at a perfect time today (not for me, but someone that I know...and it stinks!).
DeleteThat's why we're doing it though, to show support for those who need it and showing them that they aren't alone.
DeleteThis is a good post. It is so hard to know what to say, but want to say something, be there somehow...
ReplyDeleteI'm your latest gfc follower.