Wednesday, January 16, 2013

"Me Birthday, Mommy"

When I ask my youngest who has a birthday coming up, she says "Me birthday, Mommy".

Yes, she will be two on Monday.  Two.  Two!  How is that possible?

It's so bittersweet.  On the plus side, she is becoming more independent and more willing to be away from me.  She isn't freaking the funk when I leave anymore.  This is wonderful.  But...she is no longer a baby.  She seems like such a big girl.  And now that's it for us.  We have a house full of "big girls".  No more babies.  No more newborn baby smell or gummy smiles.  No more first night sleeping in a crib or first time trying baby food.  No more bottles.  No more babies.

However, we have many firsts to look forward to in the future and I know this.  But it's still so bittersweet.

Two years ago, I was scheduled for a repeat c-section.  I was due January 27th so we scheduled it for Friday, January 21st.  I specifically chose the Friday because it would work out better with my two older daughters.  There would be more family to help out with them.  I would be 39 weeks, 1 day...exactly what I was with my other two daughters when they were born.  I had NEVER gone into labor on my own.  I was induced the first time...unsuccessfully.  And a repeat c-section with my second went off without a hitch.

So in August, we chose the date for my 3rd and final c-section.

A few days before I was scheduled, my husband and I talked about how we never had the experience of going into labor.  Which was fine by me.

I went to bed on January 20th expecting to wake the next morning and take my oldest to school.  Then I was going to vacuum, clean my hardwood floors, take a shower, and straighten my hair.  What?  Don't all people do that on the day that they give birth?  Around 11 am, we would drop off my then 2 year old at my parents' house and head into the hospital. 

On the morning of January 21, 2011 (the same exact day we had chosen 5 months prior), I woke up at 4 am to use the bathroom.  I felt a pop.  My water broke.  What the... 
This was not our plan.

I called my mother in law and she came right over.  She had quite a laugh at us.  We must have looked like first timers.  My husband was frantically running around, putting stuff in his truck.  I wasn't even packed...because I was going to do it in the morning.  It had snowed a little bit and the driveway was icy and slick.  He almost wiped out a time or two.

Then we headed to the hospital...with my contractions a minute apart.  I had NO CLUE what they would do with me because I was scheduled.  I had never dealt with this before.

They admitted me right away and said that they might still wait for my scheduled 1:30 pm surgery.  WHAT?! I was in labor and in pain.  This was not what I had expected.  They had the anesthesiologist come talk to me about an epidural.  I was pissed because I was supposed to get a spinal, have my c-section, and be done with it.  That was what I knew.  That was my plan.  It's hard enough to have major abdominal surgery in order to have your baby...being in labor all morning was not what I wanted.
Finally, I dilated 3 cm in less than an they went ahead and took me right back for my c-section.

At 9:53 am, on January 21, 2011...our final little baby girl entered the world.  She was seriously a beautiful baby.  She had a head of hair on her and was so calm and content.


She completed our family.  And that was it for us.  3 girls.  Closing up shop and happy about it (although I still have short lived episodes of baby fever, that thankfully pass without incident).

And here we are, 2 years later.

Her birth story is so much like her.  Just like everything about her...from the moment we found out we were pregnant, to the day we found out that it was yet another girl, to the little girl that she is now.  She is just as we expected...yet also so surprising.  She makes us laugh every day.  She is so much like her sisters, yet her own little self.  She is sweet and quiet but also loud and feisty.  She completes our family so nicely.  She is and will always be "the baby".

So when I ask her who has a birthday coming up...and she says "Me birthday, Mommy", I smile and hold back the tears all at once.  I say, "That's right baby, it's your birthday big girl!"

Happy 2nd Birthday, my sweet baby girl.


  1. <3 very sweet. Happy Birthday big girl ;) You know what they say about the "thirds" ... they're the comedians of the family ;)

  2. I know exactly how you are feeling! My "baby" turns 2 on February 1st. We just moved her into her big girl bed on the weekend, and I haven't been able to pack her crib away yet - it feels surreal that it will never be used (by us) again. It has "housed" 4 babies - our oldest being 12. While there will still be firsts, it is also sad to think of the "lasts".

  3. My baby is 4, and I baby him. When my oldest was 4, he already had two younger brothers. My poor guinea pig first child! Happy birthday to your sweet girl!!

  4. Awwwww adorable!!! Happy Birthday little one! :)

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