We Don't Always Have to Share. Right?

You always hear parents telling their kids that they have to share. 

Kids are taught this at home, at daycare, in school. 

I agree that it is important.  I want my children to share with others, to be kind and caring, to know how to get along with people.

BUT...sometimes, I don't think sharing is always necessary.

Those that are familiar with my blog know that I have a home daycare.  Other children are coming into my house everyday.  My children have learned to share because of this.  Basically they are sharing all of their toys, their mom, and their home EVERYDAY.

So sometimes I tell them that they don't have to share everything.  If they just got a new doll for their birthday, they don't have to let everyone play with it.  I just tell them to be nice about it or keep it up in their room.  (Even though the 3 year old isn't always nice about it, but we are trying).  And don't get me wrong, I don't tell my kids that they can hoard all the toys and not let anyone touch them.  On the contrary, I am always telling them that they need to take turns and give others a chance.  But I do let them kindly take their special stuff and put it somewhere it will not get disturbed.

The other day I went to lunch at my 6 year old's school.  I brought her a soft pretzel.  One of her friends asked her for some and she looked to me for the answer.  I told her, "Sure, if you want to break off a piece and give it to her, that's fine."  But it was her choice.  I am sorry but I am not going to make her share her food.  That night I told her if a friend asks her for something from her lunch, she doesn't HAVE to share.  As a matter of fact, a friend of mine said her son's school has a "no lunch sharing" policy.  I LOVE that! 

Kids need to learn that we don't have to share everything, all the time.  As long as you are polite, you can let someone know that you are not going to share a certain item. 

I mean, when we get older, we learn how to do this. Don't we?  We don't sit with coworkers and ask for a bite of their lunch, or if we can play a game on their cell phone, or if we can try out their new lipstick.  We just don't do it.  So in my opinion, if I teach my kids this skill now, they are just prepared for the future. 


As adults, we tell people to eff off politely everyday.  Kids can learn that, too.

What do you think? Do you agree? If you do, please share.  If you don't, kindly keep it to yourself.  See? I just did it right there.  Look how polite I was. 

But seriously, you can tell me if you disagree.  I will just delete your comment.  No, now I am really being serious, I would love to know what you think...either way;)

I can't pin a damn thing!

I joined Pinterest.

I got this little notification that said I had an invite.  So I signed up.  I took a little looksy around...for about 2 minutes.  Then I signed off and never looked back.

www.imgfave.com

You might ask why.  Why did I do that when I see all of these really nifty DIY projects that people have been doing thanks to Pinterest?  Why did I do that when I hear about all the awesome recipes that people have made...again, thanks to Pinterest.

WELL, THAT IS EXACTLY WHY!

EXACTLY!!! Thanks http://www.abbyhasissues.com/

I have anxiety just thinking about it.  More recipes that I won't have time to make or will try to make but f#&k up.  More cute little outfits or shoes that I want to buy but can't because they are too expensive or will look like crap on the body that I refuse to believe I have.  More DIY projects that I will want to complete around my house.  I can't take any MORE!!!

I am up to my limit in shit that I want to get done.  I have enough DIY crap to do around my house to last me for YEARS. 

I have recipe books (remember them?) that have never been cracked open, not once.  If I am not going to have the drive to open a damn book that is collecting dust in the corner of my kitchen counter, I'm sure as hell not going to go onto Pinterest and stockpile more recipes for "never to me made" dishes.  Sure, they all sound delicious...but it is enough to make me ask my doctor for anti-anxiety meds (and trust me, I probably should have done that years ago).

So thanks, but no thanks, Pinterest.  I am sure you are WONDERFUL.  I have heard that you are the bees knees.  But I just can't take it right now.  Maybe I will be ready for you at some point in the future.  But for now, we are just going to have to put the brakes on things.  Okay?  Thanks.

Picture from http://takingtimeformommy.com/

What NOT To Say To Someone Who Is Pregnant

My best friend is VERY pregnant.  She is due this Friday.  I am waiting anxiously for her to have this baby! But I was thinking back to last January when I was in the same boat and VERY pregnant with my third daughter.  There were some things that people would say that got on my last nerve.  Like I literally had ONE nerve left and it took very little to get on it.

So throughout the course of my 3 pregnancies, I would make mental notes of things NOT to say to other pregnant women.  Here are some of those things that I noted...

1.  Are you sure there is only ONE in there?
How about you shut the f$*k up.  That is what I would want to say to that one.
You see, I am short.  By no stretch of the imagination would I say that I was petite.  But I am 5'4" and I have a short torso.  I carried my babies very high and out to the front.  I also had bigger babies.  My largest was 9 lb 2 oz and the smallest was 8 lb 4 oz. 
So no, there are not two babies in there.  I am just extremely LARGE, but thanks for pointing that out.
UPDATED: As a matter of fact, don't mention anything about a pregnant woman's size...if you think she is enormous or even too small, just keep it to yourself.  Chances are that they are well aware of how they look and don't need your lame comments.

2.  Are you still here? 
I was asked this question at work with my oldest daughter several times a day near the last few weeks of my pregnancy.  I would just smile and say, "Yep, still here" through clenched teeth.  What I really wanted to say was, "No, you assclown, I am not still here.  This is all just an optical illusion that you have created in your mind.  Yes, I am still here.  When I am NOT still here, you will know it and then you can keep your dumb ass questions to yourself, mmkay? Thanks."

3.  Oh, I had the worst experience with (insert medical procedure here)!
I had c-sections.  THREE of them.  I did not need to hear about everyone else's horror stories.  Why would people feel the need to volunteer that info.  I just DO NOT get it. 
You don't need to tell a pregnant person how awful your labor was, how long you pushed, how they botched your epidural, how you tore, how they rushed you into an emergency c-section and scared the shit out of you.  All of that is fine to share if someone asks you about it.  That is key.  THEY ask YOU.  No need to share all the gory details with someone who is facing that same fate.

4.  You should (insert suggestion here) to try to get your labor started.
Listen, helpful tips are always great.  They really are.  But I think it is safe to say that someone who is 39+ weeks pregnant is ready to go.  They are done and they most likely want baby OUT.  Suggestions to walk, have sex (always great when you have so much pressure that it makes you feel like your are going to rip in half or pee yourself, or both), eat this or drink that.  All that shit is for the birds.  They probably already know what they need to do.  What really has to happen is that the baby needs to be ready and your body just needs to get the little bugger out.  Preferably ASAP.  All the other stuff might help...or it might just be a whole lotta nothing to waste time and add to the frustration.  Who knows.

5.  Sleep now while you can.
I just LOVED this one.  And by loved, I mean loathed.
Guess what?  You can't really sleep when you get that far along.  And if it's not your first child, you already know this.  You know that the baby is going to be up several times a night.  It is not rocket science.  Sleep just becomes a goal that you work towards.  Someday, one glorious day, you will be able to sleep again.  We don't need the reminders of how sleep deprived we are going to be.

So what do you think? Are there any things that people would say to you when you were pregnant that just got on you last ever loving nerve? Please feel free to share!!!

Once upon a time...

Once upon a time, I had only one child.

She was precious.  Such an easy going, pleasant baby.  She was a great eater and an even better sleeper.  She would nap with no problems.  She would sleep through the night and transitioned to a toddler bed right around her 2nd birthday.  She did NOT sleep in my bed.  That was only on a very rare occasion, usually when she was not feeling well.  She did not watch television until she was over 2 years old.  There was no need for it.  She was a toddler and didn't know how to ask to watch her favorite show.  She didn't even have a favorite show because, like I said, she didn't really watch television.

Then...
That little girl became a big sister.  She was getting older.  She got so freaked out on Halloween that year and started sneaking into our room at night.  She stopped taking naps.  I started to let her come into our room after successfully avoiding it for over 3 years.  It would be 3 a.m. and guess what? I am pretty freakin' tired at 3 a.m.  This is especially true when you have another baby in the house. 

That little girl started to enjoy watching television.  And I enjoyed her enjoying it.  It was nice to get a few minutes of time to myself...which were few and far between.

And now...
That little girl and her little sister are both big sisters.  They all come into our bed at one point or another.  It is like they toss a coin and decide who it's going to be for that night.  It doesn't happen EVERY night, but it happens enough to seem like some sort of conspiracy.  And you know what?  We let them come in.  Sometimes the two oldest come in and one of us ends up in their bottom bunk.  Sometimes we don't hear a peep from them but the baby wakes up.  She is 14 months old now and I just started letting her come lay with us for a little bit until she falls back to sleep.  Why did I do that?  Am I the one creating the monster?  Well, I can tell you that she has quite a set of lungs on her and I would much rather her lay down with us for 20 minutes then have her wake up the other two sleeping beauties.  That's for sure.

They all have their favorite shows that they like to watch.  And we let them watch them.  If we didn't, not a damn thing would get done around here.  And enough already isn't getting done, so we can't afford to let even more go.

So you see, once upon a time I thought I had it all figured out.  Then, as usual, I quickly realized that I didn't have a clue.

When Moms Judge Other Moms

A few months ago I took The Mom Pledge.  It basically deals with encouraging and supporting other moms.  I am all for this, trust me.  But then I was thinking about times that moms tend to judge each other. 

Here are some of those times:
1.  When a kid is running lose at the park and mom seems completely unaware or just doesn't give a shit.  She needs to watch her kid better.

2.  When a mom is hovering over her 4 year old at the park like a protective mother bear and doesn't let the kids from her grip.  She needs to cut the cord.

3.  When a mom announces that her kid sleeps in her bed.  OOOHHH, that's not good for you OR the kid.

4.  When a mom says her kid is a a GREAT sleeper that never wakes up during the night.  Yeah right, she's a liar.

5.  When a kid is a picky eater.  The mom obviously caters to the child or doesn't try to give them enough variety.

6.  When a kid eats everything on their plate.  The poor kid must be starving, or is heading for childhood obesity.

7.  When the kid acts up in public.  Wow, doesn't she ever discipline them!?

8.  When the kid is too good in public.  Ugh, she thinks her kid is so perfect.  Whatever.

9.  When mom never goes out anymore.  She really needs to get out without her kids.  Its so unhealthy to be with your kids all the time like that.

10.  When mom goes out all the time.  Like Moms Gone Wild.  She must NEVER want to be with her kids.  I feel bad for them.

11.  When a mom always dresses casual.  She should take more time for herself.  You know, taking a brush to her hair and putting on a little lip gloss wouldn't hurt her.

12.  When a mom is always dressed up.  Who does she think she is?  There is no need for full hair and makeup everyday.  She must just neglect her kids while she gets ready every morning.

13.  When the house is a mess.  She must be a slob.  Can't she find time to clean up?

14.  When the house is clean.  She has got to have a maid!  That is the ONLY way that her house can be that clean. 

So, as you can see...we are basically damned if we do and damned if we don't.  Moms judge each other, whether we mean to do it or not.  I am trying to get better at this.  I really am.  And let's face it, I am the last person that should be judging anyone!

What do you think?  Are there some things that you judge others for (even when you know you shouldn't)?

The Sunshine Award!!!

My girl over at You Know It Happens at Your House Too! gave me this award. 

I am so excited about it!  If you have never checked her out...well, get right on over there and do it! She is awesome.  Oh, and she has 5 kids.  Yep, 5!!! I thought my 3 were a handful.  But she seems to take it all in stride.  We could all learn something from her.  So go check her out, right AFTER you read this and see who I nominated.

Here are the rules that I must follow for this award...(damn, hope I don't mess it up!)

1. Include the award's logo in a post or on your blog. 

2.  Answer 10 questions about yourself.

3.  Nominate 10-12 other fabulous bloggers.

4.  Link your nominees to the post and comment on their blogs, letting them know that they have been nominated. 

5.  Share the Love and link back to the person who nominated you.

I think I can handle those rules.

1. SEE ABOVE:)

2.  Here are the 10 questions...and my answers.

What is your favorite color?   Blue.  I love the color blue.  There is something calming about it. 

What is your favorite animal?  I am an animal lover....but I would have to go with DOGS on this one.

Our dog! I think she might hate us.

Favorite Non-Alcoholic Drink?  Diet soda.  It is horrible for me, I know.  But it is my weakness.  I especially love a nice cold fountain soda.  A Diet Coke to be exact.

What is your favorite number?  I will go with 3 on this one...for my 3 girls:) 

Facebook or Twitter?  Definitely Facebook.  I don't tweet or twit or whatever the hell it is.

What is your passion?  My kids.  Everything I do is for them.

Me, my husband, and our girls:)
(picture courtesy of Katie Nagle Photography)

What is your favorite pattern?  I would have to say stripes.  I am always drawn to them.  I have a striped shirt from one of the first dates my husband and I went on.  I loved it but he told me years later that it looked like I worked at T.G.I. Fridays.

Welcome to T.G.I. Fridays.  Can I take your order?

Favorite day of the week?  Definitely Saturdays. LOVE them.  They are relaxing and you know that you still have the next day off.  

Favorite flower?  I love hydrangeas.  They look and smell wonderful.  I love the bright blue ones...but mine always come up as light blue or white (I know it depends on the soil).

Give or Get Presents?  Well, I am not going to act like I don't like to get presents.  But I would much rather give them, especially when you have found the perfect gift for someone!

3.  My Nominations!

Before I go on, I just want to say that I am sorry if I nominate someone who has already received this award.  I am just going to list who I LOVE and who I think deserves this...

Kate and Aly-  My friends...two sisters that blog.  One has an incredible son that was born almost 3 months early.  He is truly a miracle.  The other has a fabulous daughter and she is raising her halfway across the world in Spain.  Check them out and see what they have to say!

Divine Secrets of the Domestic Diva-  One of my inspirations.  She was the first mom blogger that I ever read.  She is hilarious and you will relate to everything she has to say.  Plus, she does fabulous giveaways each month!

Running from Hell with El-  This mom is a fabulous writer.  PERIOD.  Check her out and see for yourself.  You will be sucked in by her writing.  She has a gift.

Write, Rinse, Repeat-  This blogger is GREAT!!! Her slogan is "Monotony and its funniest"...and she IS so funny.  Check her out!

Ninja Mom-  She is another great, funny, real, hysterical mom blogger.  Love (and can also totally relate to) everything she writes.

Nitty Gritty Mommy-  I think she was nominated before.  But I don't care.  I love her and you will too.

Hot Mess Mom-  She is SO DAMN FUNNY!  She makes me spit out my coffee when I read her posts.  You are really missing out if you are not following her blog.  Hilarious!

Let Me Start By Saying-  I just absolutely love this blog.  She is a fabulous writer, both fiction and nonfiction.  She is writing a book...and I know I will be reading it as soon as it comes out.  I can't wait!

Overworked Supermom-  She's a working mom who tries to do it all.  She's funny and positive...and she is crafty too.  Check her out:)

Counting Caballeros-  She is the mom of 4 and is another funny one! She's snarky and sarcastic and tells it like it is.  You will love her!

Necessary Indulgences-  This is a blog about food and travel.  Well, we all know I LOVE food...and I also love to travel (although we don't do it as much as we would like these days).  However, I can live vicariously through Kristi when I read her blog!

Others that I love, but I know have been nominated are I Want a Dumpster Baby, Blissfully Discontented, Underachiever's Guide to Being a Domestic Goddess, Real Housewife of Santee, Craughing, I Could Have Been Mother of the Year If..., and Just Another Tired Mommy.

So there you have it.  My award, more questions/answers about myself that you probably didn't need to know, and my nominations.  Every blogger that I nominated is fabulous...and you should check them out.

Thanks again to You Know It Happens At Your House Too! for my Sunshine Award:)

A Story About the Most Awesome, Annoying Party There Ever Was

I was watching Max and Ruby tonight, something that I have the privilege of doing more often then I would like.  I started to think about previous posts I have written about these horrible shows and I got an idea.  It was just about the best and worst idea that I have ever had.  What if I wrote a story?  This story would be about an awesome party.  The most awesome, annoying, f#$ked up party you could ever imagine.  Here it is.  I hope you enjoy.

The Most Annoying Party There Ever Was

It was almost spring. 

Ruby thought that it would be a great time of year to throw a party for all of her friends.  She spent days planning and preparing.  She sent Max out to get all of the supplies with his red wagon and barely enough money to get what he needed plus another dragon shirt to wear to the party.

Max went alone.  He does everything alone because Ruby basically gives him the shaft when something comes up, like Bunny Scouts or a day to hang with her bestie Louise.

Miraculously, Max returned with all the supplies.  It's amazing what he can do with his limited vocabulary.  But when you have to fend for yourself because your parents are god knows where, you learn how to get by.

It was time to party!

As Ruby got her punch ready, Max was planning a little treat of his own.  His famous mud pies.  Even if everyone else thinks they are grotesque, Max can always count on his drunken Grandma to play along with his antics.

The first guest to arrive was Olivia.  She was wearing her purple princess gown.  Of course she was.  That chick is always pulling sh*t like that.  She is such an attention seeking hog.

After Olivia, Dora made her appearance.  Olivia stood of in the corner and waited for someone else to come so she could gossip about Dora's shirt that she outgrew about 3 years ago.  I mean, can't Dora step it up for a party and wear a shirt that fits?

Diego popped in for a minute but then Baby Jaguar tried to take a bite out of Olivia's leg.  Diego decided it was best to head home...but was ticked off that people were upset with Baby Jaguar.  All those hypocrites probably love pork too.

DJ Lance was all set up to get the party started.  He announced that it was dancey-dance time.  But just as the music started, the speaker blew.

Well thank god that Handy Manny had just showed up!!! He got right to work (and by "he", I mean his tools).  The whole crowd cheered as Felipe tightened the last screw and the music blared.  Felipe was so happy.  Then he saw that they were all cheering for Manny.  Once again, that bastard took credit.  Typical.

DJ Lance got everyone on their feet.

The rest of the party pretty much went down like this...

Kai-lan spent the night trying to break up a fight between Tolee and Rin-too.  Finally, she called her grandfather to come get her.  Good thing he came, because he left with Ruby's Grandma's digits.  Not that Grandma will remember the next day because she spiked Ruby's punch with a little whiskey and helped herself to one too many.  Louise ended up taking Grandma home early and then catching the last bus home.

Caillou stopped in, complained and whined incessantly, and then headed home to hang with Rosie.  This crowd was too much for him to take.

The Wonder Pets chilled in the corner and snacked on celery.  They brought their own and tried to pair it with all the other food the Ruby prepared, which ticked Ruby off to no end.  They didn't stay late because Ming-Ming had an early appointment with his speech therapist.

Just when it started to die down, Ruby decided it was time to bring out the big guns.  She got everyone's attention and introduced the fabulous, wild and crazy Fresh Beat Band!  The crowd jumped to their feet.  The music started and out came...WTF? It was the Junior Beats.  Ruby was fuming.

The crowd cleared out. 

Mickey and Minnie, who came late as usual, had to drive Dora home.  She had hit the punch as well.  Problem was, she also lost Backpack.  Since she didn't have her map, she forgot where she lived.  After driving around for hours, Mickey was finally able to get her home.

Ruby spent the entire day following the party cleaning up Grandma's vomit, blood from Olivia's leg, and shards of celery. 

She even found Backpack.  And no wonder Dora was so lit, there were two empty bottles of Arbor Mist in there.

Ruby made a solemn swear to herself to never have a party again.

She even told Max to remind her of this if she ever gets the idea to have another one.  Max just smiled and walked away.  He thought to himself, "Sure Ruby, whatever.  B$*ch doesn't listen to a SINGLE WORD I say anyway."

THE END

I think Weight Watchers is out to get me...

Many of you know that I started Weight Watchers back in September.  Yep, September.  I have lost 20.2 pounds...woohoo.  That's great, right?  Well, I lost most of that by December.  Since December?  About 1 pound down.  This is because, as expected, I gained a little around the holidays.  I only gained .8 of a pound.  I was pretty proud of myself with that.  If I hadn't been on W squared (that's what I call it), I would have pretty much been guaranteed a 5 lb gain.  So with the program in the back of my mind, I only slightly overate...not the normal gorging and binge drinking that I usually enjoy around the holidays.

Since then, I have grown weary of the program.  It works.  It does.  But I am so sick of writing it all down.  And when I do write it down, I have been guesstimating.  Like that was about a half a cup of Cheez Its  (when I am pretty certain that I just polished off an easy 2 cups). Right?
So basically I go weight in every week knowing full well that I barely followed the program.  Then I get pissed if I gain.  What do I expect to happen?

Also, I am only 5'4".  As I mentioned in a previous post, when I started the program my first goal was just to move from "obese" to "overweight".  Oh yes folks, I was OBESE.  
Now, I am only overweight.  Sounds good to me.  Better than obese.

And sometimes I feel like WW is out to get me.  Out to rob me of the joys that I have in life.  There are few things that really give me great joy.  They are my children (of course), but also good food and drink (including coffee, beer, and/or wine).  So you see, I feel like WW wants to take this food and drink from me and replace it with excessive amounts of 0 point soup and sugar free jello.  Damn them.  They also tell you to stay away from "food rewards" when you have a good loss.  Well screw that.  I can tell you that the minute I left that place after a big loss, I ate with reckless abandon for approximately the next 24 hours.  Then I would get right back on track...kind of.

Just this week they sent me a postcard saying they missed me.  Awww, ain't that sweet.  Sorry, the feeling isn't mutual.  They also said to "March" right on back to the meetings.  How clever.  But I will.  I will head back and try to lose a little more before I have to face dreaded swimsuit season.

So it is the constant battle.  A battle between me and WW.  A battle between me and the snacks that I enjoy so much. 
Here's to hoping that I can eventually win this battle.  Because as of late I just surrender and wave the white flag.

Words of Encouragement

Every month my first grader gets recognized for her outstanding behavior at school.  She gets to dress down and wear a themed item such as a necklace or headband (that we are supposed to create...always a joy to be throwing some crap together the night before because I am an eternal procrastinator).

She also has to color a little picture that gets displayed in the hallway.  On the back of this picture, we are supposed to write a note of encouragement for her to keep up the good work.

Now before I go on, I want to say that she is awesome at school.  She would never, ever in her wildest dreams talk back to the teacher, be disrespectful, or do anything to break or even slightly bend the rules.  That is just how she is.  She is like this with EVERYONE.  Everyone but me.  She apparently has no problem at all talking back to me or going against anything and everything that I ask her to do. 

So tonight I was sitting here looking at her colorful, carefully completed shamrock picture that she is turning in tomorrow for her outstanding behavior during the month of February.  I had to write a note on the back.  This was immediately after she gave me a hard time for not letting her watch any of American Idol (her fave) and turned brushing her teeth into a 10 minute long fiasco complete with gagging and complaining.  I was DONE.

Here is what I wrote:
We are so proud of you!  You are doing such a great job in first grade.  Keep up the good work! We love you:) Love, Mommy and Daddy

Here is what I wanted to write:
I am so glad that once again you had outstanding behavior at school!  Too bad you berate me, defy me, and whine all day long with me.  Well, at least you know not to do it at school...so maybe I did something right.  I guess I will continue to pretend that I am going to call your teacher every time you are acting up and give empty threats with no intention of following through.  Love always, Mommy

If this is how 6 is...what will 16 be like? Lord, give me strength!

My Old Black Boots

I keep finding 2 different pairs my black knee high boots around the house.  Yesterday they were in the upstairs hallway.  Today they were out on the sun porch.

My 6 year old likes to put them on and play school.  She pretends she is the teacher and (not so nicely) makes her little sister be the student.  I think she likes them because when she zips them up they actually stay on her feet.  I really hope that's why she likes them.

I have a few questions/concerns regarding these boots:

Why does she always choose these when playing school? 
Does she think that this is what all teachers wear?  I was a teacher and I did wear them sometimes.  But I have plenty of other shoes that she could choose from that would be more "sensible teacher shoes".

Should I be concerned that she is drawn to this particular style of shoe?
I mean, the one pair are some serious whorish (is that a word?) boots.  The have an excessively pointy toe and very thin, high heels.  I bought them years ago and have worn them maybe a handful of times.  And when I did wear them, I wore them under a pair of jeans because I didn't have the balls to wear them with a dress or skirt.  The other pair is acceptable...they have a boxy toe shape and the heels are not too high. 

Are these boots still even in style? 
I don't get out much and I really don't wear knee high black boots with a 3 inch heel around the house.  I know riding boots are in..and I REALLY want a pair of them.  But I am not so sure about the ones I just found.  I forgot that I even had this particular pair.  And now I am wishing that I could forget about them.  I could donate them.  But then I ask, why do we donate things that are not in style or old or just plain ugly? 

But should I be wearing higher heels?
Maybe I should wear higher heels.  This would add a little to my height and then I might be able to convince myself and my Weight Watchers leader that I am 5'7" instead of 5'4".  That way I could pick a higher weight as my goal and I would move out of  the OVERWEIGHT category.  But the overweight category is fine for me right now...when I started WW, I was in the OBESE category.  Are they f-ing kidding me with that?  Apparently they were not.  I was obese for my height and weight.  Whatever. (More about that coming soon...I know you can hardly wait).
BUT if I had a few inches on me (via the high heeled whore boots), I could reach an acceptable goal weight all that much sooner.  That would be fantastic.

Man, I can tell you that I didn't expect an old pair of black boots to bring out so many questions and uncertainties inside of me.  Who would have thought?

But I think I will be getting rid of these boots today.  The sooner the better.

Reason #1 to ditch the boots...

And if that wasn't enough....reason #2 

And please say it ain't so...is this chick REALLY reproducing?