Friday, April 27, 2012

Having a kid is not like having a pet.

Let me start by saying that I love animals.  People that know me know this.  I have a cat that I have had for 13 years.  I got her in college and took care of her even when she was no longer a cute little kitten and my roommate grew tired with her.  If I was going to be gone for a few days, I had to harass my roommate to feed her.  I put post it notes all over the apartment with annoying little reminders.  I was convinced that I would return to find an emaciated cat or a carcass laying near an unopened bag of cat food.

Then before I had children, my husband and I got a dog.  I use to drive a cute little Volkswagen.  I traded it in for an SUV mainly so my 130 lb dog could fit in the back.  I use to surf the Petfinder website just to look at poor unwanted dogs and cry because I wanted to adopt each and every one.  If an animal dies in a movie, I just can't bear it.  And I still can't watch an ASPCA commercial (with that damn tearjerking music) without getting choked up. 

I agree that pets are a great deal of work.  House training them is a bitch.  They are expensive.  My dog costs $85 to get groomed.  Therefore, she is usually living it up at the groomer every 3 to 4 months while I swing into the local drugstore and grab a $5 box of hair color and call it a day.  Don't even get me started on the vet bills.  My vet takes a holistic approach which translates into even higher vet bills for god knows what.  Is it necessary to send a sample of my 9 year old dog's blood from Delaware to the University of Colorado to test if she already has antibodies to certain illnesses?  Can't we can vaccinate and be done with it? I guess not.

I also agree that a pet can be like a member of the family.  We have had our dog for over 9 years.  She has been here through the addition of all 3 children.  Each time we brought one of the girls home from the hospital over the years, I swear the dog would look at me as if to say, "Are you freakin' kidding me with this?"  I promised her that we were done.  The cat, on the other had, could care less.  She just knows that she has to be more skillful in finding a quiet place to sleep.  But I do believe that pets are a part of the family, and losing one of them can be devastating.

Here's my dog. Sometimes I think she hates us.

But with all of that being said, I just have to say that having a pet is in no way like having a child.  Here are some reasons why that should be glaringly obvious...

You can't come home from work, let your child out of the crate to go to the bathroom outside just so you can put them right back in their crate and head to happy hour. 

You can't hire a person to stop by your house a few times a day while you are out to take your kids for a walk.  Although if I could, I really would consider it.

You can't put you children in a kennel when the mood strikes to take a little vacation.

Putting a bowl of water on the floor for your child to drink out of is not considered acceptable.  But now that I think about it, my 1 yr old is quite fond of trying to drink out of the cat's or dog's water bowl...

When your children wake you up early, that's it, you are up.  You can't just let them out to pee in the grass and then head back to bed for a few more hours of shut eye. 

A 20 lb bag of dry food per week for a child probably won't cut it. 

Your child, even if they are extremely small in stature, can't be trained to go to the bathroom on newspaper on your kitchen floor.

Your child doesn't (or shouldn't) stand at the back door and bark when they want to come in...or bark when they want to go out, or bark when someone knocks at the door.

SO there are some of my reasons behind why I think that having a child is not like having a pet.  It's nothing's just that kids are humans, and pets are...well, animals.  Not quite the same.

Do you agree???  I would love to hear.  And I hope all my animal lovers don't get upset...please, I am one of you.  I love my pets.  I just love my kids more.


  1. Totally agree - everything you said is spot-on. I have 2 dogs (had 3, but lost him to cancer) and 1 child. My hubby and I ADORE our dogs - we also buy our cars around them, but our daughter is the light of our lives. Our doggies are definitely a part of the family - they are now 14 and 13 and going downhill - it's painful to watch, but it's also been an incredible and compassionate learning experience for our daughter. We feel the same with the ASPCA commercials, etc. I can't imagine NOT having a pet for our family, but a child brings a whole other level of love to ones soul.

    1. AWWW! I know, I can't even think about what it would be like to not have our dog. She is definitely a part of the family and my girls LOVE her!

  2. On the plus side though:

    1. I don't have to clean up my daughter's poops from her bedroom floor 3 times per week

    2. She doesn't try to sleep LITERALLY in my asshole at night

    3. It's much easier to brush her teeth before bed than my Dachshund's

    4. Her medical bills thus far have been MUCH less than any of my 3 dogs'

    5. It's easier to drop her off at a relative's house for a night out than to ask anyone to sit for my 3 dogs

    1. I totally agree with you!!! If we want to go somewhere, our first thought is always "What about the dog?!".
      I LOVE your list!!! thanks:)

  3. This is so true! I love it! It does make me miss my pooch just a little, but your pooch is so stinking cute, I just want to cuddle up next to him :)

  4. This is hilarious and true. However, I put my son in one of those leash harness things. I thought about tying him to a tree out back with a bowl of Gerber Puffs and apple juice. But, I forsee child protective services in my future if I do this.

  5. Oh man, this reminds me of how much I am not an animal person. The kids beg me to get them a dog and I politely say "no" while thinking to myself "If I wanted another baby, I would have a 4th kid, not a dog - but I'm not getting EITHER!" - just keep swimming

  6. Yikes. I guess I should stop locking my kids in my dog's crate when I go out. I didn't realize that was a no-no.

  7. Good morning,
    I couldn't figure out if the Liebster award fell into the category of annoying "chain letter" or good blogging networking. That being said I won't be offended if you choose not to do anything with it.
    Take care,
    Marian @ just keep swimming

  8. I love animals, too (I used to be a zookeeper, and I've almost always had pets), but it's one of my secret pet peeves (no pun intended) when I say something about my kids and someone in the group chimes in, "Oh yeah, that's totally like when my dog..." No, it isn't. Having a kid is nothing like having a pet. And it doesn't help when they say, "I know it's not the same, but my pets are my kids." No they aren't, which you'd know if you had an actual kid... Uh oh, I better get off my soapbox. Let's just say, I agree. ;)


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