Friday, February 22, 2013

Give Me 5 for Friday: 5 "Lies" I Still Tell My Dad

When I say "lie", I don't mean a flat out lie.  Maybe I mean more of an omission of the truth. 

You see, my dad is one of those "What he doesn't know won't hurt him...and it also is a hell of a lot easier on everyone else" kind of person.  Mostly, it's easier on my mom because she is the one who lives with him and has to listen to his constant questions and deal with his tendency to overreact to things.  He can be difficult.  He can also be hilarious and very kind.  And he can be difficult.  Did I already say that? 

So at the age of 34, I still keep some things from him.  It's just so much easier for everyone involved.


Here are 5 "lies" (again, maybe more like omissions of the truth) that I still tell my dad:

1.  I have a fat savings account equal to 6 months salary.
Hold on a sec while I catch my breath from hysterical laughter...
You see, my dad is pretty conservative with his money so he expects everyone else to be too.  If he knew we didn't have the big old savings security blanket, he would not be very happy.

2.  I am so happy with my career choice of leaving the teaching profession temporarily to have a home daycare.
My dad was not really in support of that decision.  You see, like I mentioned, he is conservative with money.  He would much rather I still be teaching and contributing to my pension and other retirement funds.  And it's not like I am unhappy with my decision, though I do question it often...but he will never know that.  It is easier this way.

3.  This here blog.
He doesn't really know about this blog...although I have never actually kept it from him.  It's just simpler to not mention it because he would have a million questions.  He probably doesn't even know what a blog is.  Then he would want my mom to help him look it up.  Then he would read stuff...and just not get it. 

4.  That time I was at the beach and had to go to the ER by ambulance because I might have been "roofied".
Uhhhh, yeah...about that.  Those ER copays were expensive and I was only 21 (maybe I was 22).  And I had to make it NOT my own fault.  So that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

5.  That time I had "heat exhaustion" in high school.
Again, I was young.  I played field hockey and we really DID have double sessions in the summer heat that day.  It had nothing to do with the 3 screwdrivers that I had as a lightweight who didn't know what she was doing.  I think "heat exhaustion" was an easier pill for all of us to swallow.  Am I right?

So here I am.  34, almost 35 years old and I still have these little omissions of the truth that I will continue to stand by.  And he doesn't read this blog, so I'm all good.  Right? 

Don't you think of telling him either.  Because I will delete and deny, deny, deny. 

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12 comments:

  1. thats fantastically awesome.
    thank you. now i know at 33 going on 34, im totally normal.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, it's TOTALLY normal. We are adults...but stil really kids I guess ;)

      Delete
  2. I'm 44 and still smoke pot when my kids go to sleep at night. But I don't think my dad would be surprised if he did know...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, at least it's AFTER the kids are in bed! LOL!

      Delete
  3. That is funny. I am 43 and still lie to my parents about past and present things. So much easier that way. Less questions.

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  4. I'm freaking DYING DYING DYING! I love this sooo much:) We lie too. I can almost go down your list and cehck it off. Hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL!!!! We are always really kids I guess...even when we are raising our own. It's easier to lie (or omit the truth, as I like to call it)!

      Delete
  5. There is one lie you never told your Mom!!! 3 Screwdrivers before a field hockey game. What kind of daughter did i raise - a party and you didn't invite me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MOM!!! Stop it. It was AFTER the game...come one now.

      Delete
  6. My dad still does not know I've ever had sex! It's amazing that I can pull this one off after having two biological children! LOL LOL LOL!

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  7. LOVE these!! And I'm with you on the blog. My mom (and my boss) isn't aware that I'm a blogger. I like to keep it that way. If my mom heard or read me dropping the F bomb with such regularity, she'd ground me.

    ReplyDelete

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