Tuesday, February 19, 2013

I Want to be a SAHM

I have said it before and I'll say it again...I want to be a Stay At Home Mom.

Please, if you are a SAHM, do not feel like I am saying I want this because I think it's easy.  People don't say, "I want to be a doctor because that looks like it would be a piece of cake".  I KNOW that it is not easy.  You don't have to tell me all of the negative aspects of staying home with your children.  Trust me.

But...I will say it again.  I want to be a SAHM.  I would LOVE that. 

Right now, I have a home daycare.  I type this while sitting in my dining room.  5 children are napping less than 10 feet away from me.  I just got a glass of ice water and had to gingerly take ice out of my freezer, as to not wake the little ones.  Then I sat down at my table in almost slow motion so I wouldn't make a peep.

This most likely will be my last year as a daycare provider.  I am planning on returning to teaching next year (fingers crossed!).  People tell me that I will love going back to teaching.  They say that I will have a whole new appreciation for it.  And I very well might.  I look forward to a planning time and lunch break, even if teachers do have to scarf their food down in under 25 minutes.  I look forward to having coworkers.

But I have been there and done that.  I taught for 8 years prior to having the home daycare.  I taught until my oldest was 4 and my middle daughter was 1.  I know the whole song and dance of being a mom who works out of the home.   I am prepared to do that dance again.

However, this does not change the fact that I would LOVE to be a SAHM for a few years. 

Why? Well, I'll tell you.

I want to volunteer to help in my daughters' classes.  I want to go on field trips.  I want to schedule a doctor appointment at 10 am on a Monday morning.  I want to clean my house while my older 2 children are at school.  I want to give my 2 year old some one on one attention.  I want to grocery shop on a weekday morning.  I want to sit in car line.  I want to be able to drop off my daughter's lunch when she has forgot it in the morning.  I want to be able to go pick up a child at school when the nurse calls and says that they don't feel well.

I don't want to have heart palpitations every time a kid gets a fever on a Sunday and I have no clue what I should do because I would either have to inconvenience 5 other families from my home daycare or call out sick if I am teaching.  I don't want to text my husband with things I need him to pick up on the way home from work because I am stuck in my house.  I don't want to feel sad that my daughter was sick on a 3 day weekend and now I have no other weekdays off for over a month.

And these are just a few reasons.  I know, I know...I sound like a whiny baby.  But you know what?  This is what I am feeling today and this is my blog.  So there you have it.

Again, if you are a SAHM...please don't take this the wrong way.  I know you don't have it easier.

Take it as a compliment.  I want to do what you do.  So feel lucky for a second.  Look around and say, "Hey, maybe this gig isn't so bad".

Then get back to changing diapers, cleaning up messes, running errands...and all of the other glamorous crap that goes with the job :)

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  1. I ran this morning. After I dropped the kids off at school. Then I went to the Acme childless. Then I made chicken noodle soup and chicken tortilla soup simultaneously. I spoke on the phone with another adult without having to whisper, hide in a closet, or shush anyone. I may have time to shower and get the Christmas decorations into the attic before I have to pick the boys up from school. I have appreciated every second of this day.

    I wish you could be a SAHM because you would appreciate every second of it too!

    Although, if I weren't writing, I'd be looking for a job. I don't do lunch or play tennis. And these kids eat. Alot.

    1. Bethany,
      That sounds heavenly!!! And it is awesome that you appreciate it. I know people that don't enjoy it...and I just want to say WHY?!!! I know it can be hard and trying but I think it would be great! I do and I was just in one of those moods today to write about it because my weekend kind of stunk (well sunday and monday did) and I honestly get so bummed when I have a long weekend and can't make the most of it.
      Thanks for commenting!!!

  2. very well said... and good for you for speaking your feelings! It isn't so much about those that may criticize, but that person who reads what you've written and thinks, yep... I know what that feels like.

    Your words solidify my own personal reasons for staying home with my kids... each to their own --it does not make one right and one wrong, what works for one may not work for the other.

    I hope whatever you decide that you are at peace... thank you for sharing.

  3. "I want to be able to go pick up a child at school when the nurse calls and says that they don't feel well.

    I don't want to have heart palpitations every time a kid gets a fever on a Sunday and I have no clue what I should do...."

    For this reason at the beginning of this school year I decided to quit my job. I am now busier than I ever was before because in our situation we are at a doctors office every week but, I do understand what you are saying. It is much much easier for us financially for me to work but, it is much easier for everyone if I am able to tend to the kids when they need me. It was one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make but, it was what we needed.
    I felt the way you feel every day until finally I just quit. Unfortunately, the mommy guilt is still there. Now, I feel guilty that I don't work! lol

    1. Yes...sometimes you just have to do what is necessary. And I am so glad that it worked out for you. But that guilt will always be there! It's goes hand and hand with parenting...right?! ;)

  4. I have a couple days where I only have my own children, and I would ALSO LOVE to schedule a doctor or dentist appointment without having to do it a MONTH out b/c they never have enough evening appointments :) Home daycare is tough, and I'm only watching ONE extra one right now. It takes a special kind of person. If you've survived it, you can do ANYTHING!!!

    1. The daycare is definitely harder than I expected...but I still think it was the best decision at the time:) Thanks for your comments!!!

  5. I love this post! I am a SAHM who loves being a SAHM. I've had full and part time jobs in the past, and I was a full time student a few years ago, but being a SAHM is my most favorite job. And I did in home daycare before for about 8 months and you couldn't pay me enough money to do it again. It's the hardest job ever.

  6. I'm with you. I'm a working mom. I'd love to be able to stay and hang out with my lil man. TO actually be able to make appointments in the morning would be awesome! Or to not just cram EVERYTHING into my one day off during the week. I'd be one hell of a cook by now if I was a SAHM. I do understand it's hard but I'd love to wake up every day and see the first morning smile or cook breakfast.

  7. I agree with you so whole heartedly. I have always had to work in order to get Health Insurance since my husband owns a small business. I am very blessed to only have to work part time even though 30 hours a week feels like a million! I am also blessed to have a very flexible schedule but I have always wanted to be a SAHM. I live my life feeling like I am constantly being pulled in so many directions. God knows there is enough work at home to keep me busy day and night! When I notice this the most is when I am on vacation from work. I have the week off from my paid job but I am so busy in my house with catching up on all the things I have to do that I don't feel like I've been on vacation at all. I simply feel like I'm working one full time job with overtime and not two! I dream about being a SAHM, about being able to be more focused, more organized, getting all the laundry done! All these great fantasies....but in reality maybe no matter if I'm working outside the home or inside, there will always be more to do! I guess for right now, I will just be grateful in this economy that I have a job, I can get my Health Insurance and a hot cup of coffee with adult conversation. I suppose there are perks to working outside the home! Thanks for sharing this post! It's nice to know other moms feel like I do! PS. I really related to how we know how much work it is being a SAHM, My friends who stay home always try to tell me how lucky I am that I get to go to work and how hard it is to stay home! I get it but I still want to do it anyway and I would appreciate the good, the bad and the ugly! Every ounce of it!

  8. I'm one of the crazy ones. I was a SAHM and took it one step further. I'm now a homeschooling mom, so all of the -BY MYSELF- perks are gone (try finding a babysitter so you can have an annual pap - impossible!) and I have 2 very eager 'helpers'. My house is really never clean because "school" takes place all over the house.

    New perks have presented themselves, however. I am relearning all of the things I should have learned the first time around, my 3rd grader knows more history than most college graduates (and I have a B.A. in history!), I get to chaperone and choose my own field trips (and not have to eat a warm, smooshed PB&J from a brown bag), and I have a good excuse for not having a clean house (teaching all day! active learning taking place everywhere!!!).

    Each situation has its ups and downs. We just have to do what works for us. Homeschooling works for me and I realize it may not work for others, but I certainly don't judge anyone and hope that no one judges me too harshly. We are all trying to do what is best for our individual families.
    Now please don't judge me on spelling and grammar. I just enjoyed one of the other perks of homeschooling - being able to have some bourbon without worrying about waking up at 6am to get everyone to school on time. Sometimes the bourbon is the only thing that gets me through a long day of improper fractions, parsing sentences, and the umpteenth science experiment that erupted all over my kitchen counter. Cheers! :)

  9. I get it. I just went back to work full time after three months off with baby number two. My husband works for himself and stays home with he two year old and baby. Although I am lucky to have the kids at home, I wish I was the one able to stay with them. I know he has a hard job and is exhausted at the end of the day.

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