Monday, February 25, 2013

"Mommyblogger" Myths Debunked

I read this post by Mary McCarthy from Pajamas and Coffee about why she hates mommybloggers.  At first I saw the title and thought...WHAT?!!!  Damn, hate is a strong word.  But I read it.  And I got what she's saying. 

I also believe that there are a few myths when it comes to women who have blogs and also happen to be moms.

Let me start with the whole "mommyblogger" term.  Yes, it can be super annoying to be put in that category.  I am a mom and I have a blog.  I write about my kids.  That is true.  But I also write about wanting to lose weight, my clothes, my childhood, my interests, and lies I still tell my dad.  Every post is NOT strictly about being a mom.  I guess maybe the term "Parenting and Lifestyle Blogger" would be suitable.  Or how about about just plain old "blogger"?  That works for me.  When I was teaching and then had my children, people didn't go from calling me a teacher to a mommy teacher or a teaching mom.  Why to we do it with bloggers?  Why do we have this label? 
However, I must add that the majority of my posts do tend to discuss topics related to my kids and being a parent.  That's just where I am in my life right now so it only makes sense to write about those topics.

Fake ass b*tches:
I totally get how Mary thinks that bloggers can create this whole "persona" on their blog...and then in real life they are a big b*tch.  You never know.  I mean, haven't you seen the episode of Good Luck Charlie where Amy writes a blog and invents a whole extra child named Skippy, strictly to have more writing material.  Oh no, only me?  Gosh, I really do love that show.  But I can assure all of you that don't know me in real life, what you see is what you get with me.

Show me the lack of money:
I don't know many mommybloggers who are making a mint off of this gig.  For real, yo.  Yes, maybe we get some ads placed on our blogs here and there.  We may get free products to review.  But to make money, real legit money like it's a job, it takes time, hard work, more time, more hard work for NO pay...and it very well may never happen.  I am still waiting for my ship to come in.

Blogging is a Job:
I can only say that I WISH blogging was my job.  I truly do.  But it's not.  Blogging is not how I pay my bills.  Blogging is not a 9 to 5.  It is something I do at night when the kids are asleep...or during nap time (like right now).  This is true for most bloggers that I "know".

You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours:
Mary mentioned that most mommybloggers have found their niche and their audience so they write all of their posts in the same style.  Then their loyal followers read and share, share, share.  It is like write, rinse, share, repeat.  And I must say that this is true at times.  I have so many bloggers that I LOVE to read.  I trust their when they share something, I head over and read it.  Sometimes I also love that post.  Other times I am left thinking Hmmm, that wasn't really share-worthy but that's the drill.  You are a virtual friend of the blogger, you share their shit.  No matter what.  It's nice that people do that for each other.  But there are times when I think people are getting exposure when it wasn't deserved.  I guess it's all who you know.  Personally, I can tell you that I will share something if I read it and LOVED it. That's about it.  I don't expect anything in return, at all.  I think this is mostly true for others who are plugging away in this blogging biz.

In closing, I really enjoyed reading Mary's post.  It was great food for thought.  I highly suggest you read it, especially if you are a mom...and you have a blog. 

I also highly suggest that we see women who blog for what they are.  Many are, in fact, moms.  Many have life experiences that they want to share with others, whether it be about parenting, struggles with depression or addiction, fertility issues, illness, or loss.  Many just want to share a laugh.  Many are educated women who have friends and interests outside of their children. 

They are not women who sit in their jammies all day (well, maybe sometimes), drinking wine, and complaining about their children.  Yes, they may enjoy wine.  Yes, they may complain and use their blog as an outlet.  But don't let that define us.  Let that just be a little part of who we are.  And let us try our best to use our voice to make others smile, to help them feel that they are not alone, and to make even the slightest difference in this crazy world.

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  1. I watched that episode of Good Luck Charlie too hahahaha! Amy annoys the heck out of me!

  2. I absolutely LOVE Good Luck Charlie, I can't help it, it's definitely my guilty pleasure! Amy cracks me up and that episode with the blog was so funny and it probably made more sense to me than my kid who was watching it in the first place! Maybe I'm just loving that we are out of the Ruby & Max, Caillou & ELMO phase, but I do love it! Mary brings up a lot of good points. I am brand new to reading blogs about motherhood, but I've had a dog blog for quite a long time. I don't know if people would call me a doggy blogger or not? Even though I'm a mom, I started my blog for my dog (way before the show dog with a blog) but I did it because he's nuts, he's very special needs,he is a rescue basset with major issues and I knew I needed to share his stories! All the while I was working on my book about motherhood. Ironically, upon completion,I was absolutely blown away that I had never read a single blog about motherhood. I was too busy and not really sure how to find these blogs. I seemed to find dog blogs and that's about it! Anyway babble babble, I've discovered some truly incredible blogs by moms while looking for reviews on my book! I wouldn't want to be called a MOMMY AUTHOR lol so I can relate to this!Thank you for posting Katie! :)

  3. Interesting. I am new to all of this, and like you wanted to blog mostly to vent and have a safe place to swear and sh*t. Sometimes it's about my kids, sometimes not.
    I share things I really find funny and just give credit b/c you're supposed to. I don't know how all of the sharing/promoting stuff works and it hasn't worked well for me, so I usually just don't do it. If that means blogging to my few friends, meh. My husband is sick of my jokes and my babies do not get me ;)
    I enjoy your blog and your facebook page.



  6. Thank you for reading my article and for your thoughtful response here. (I especially LOVE your last paragraph!) I think I am sort of writing from a place of "mommyblogger exhaustion" from five years of doing it myself. I appreciate your interpretation. Thanks for sharing!


  7. Thank you for sharing this beautiful post! I want to let you know that you are not alone my friend and I agree with all the things that you wrote here. I can absolutely relate to this! I am a mom and I love blogging. I just enjoy it so much. It's like a release from all the stresses that I encounter everyday. :)

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