Funny Mom Quotes

Happy 4th of July Everyone!!!
Here are some funny, laugh out loud quotes about the joys of motherhood:

"I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows."
-Janette Barber

"Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends. "
-Laurie Kuslansky

"A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car."
-Carrie Snow

"Inside every older person is a younger person - wondering what the hell happened."
-Cora Harvey Armstrong

"I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on."
-Roseanne Barr

"My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint."
-Erma Bombeck

"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning."
-Catherine Aird

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
-Jack Nicholson

"The worst feature of a new baby is its mother's singing."
-Kin Hubbard

“Any mother could perform the jobs of several air traffic controllers with ease.”
-Lisa Alther

“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.”
-Phyllis Diller

“Raising a kid is part joy and part guerilla warfare.”
-Ed Asner

“A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby’s temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who’s boss.”
-Tina Fey

“You know you're a mother when your child throws up and you run to catch it before it hits the rug.”
-Unknown

“Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going."
-Phyllis Diller