Thursday, July 28, 2011

Ready for Baby? Probably not...

Sometimes people ask, "Am I ready to have a baby?" or "Am I ready to have another baby?"

The answer is probably NO!  When is anyone ever completely ready to do that?  I am convinced that the very reason we have to carry a child for about 9 months is so we can mentally prepare ourselves.  And even then, you will still not be ready.  The baby will be born and you will bring him or her home from the hospital, and you probably STILL will not be ready.  But you will figure it out and make it work.  And everyone will be fine. 
I honestly believe that you can't wait until you feel completely ready for a child.  If that was the would probably just never have one.  And if having a baby is not for you, than that is fine too! 
I just always found it funny that we spend the majority of our lives trying NOT to have a child.  Then when you decide you are as "ready" as you are going to be, all you can think of is getting pregnant.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.  Sometimes you get pregnant right away, sometimes it takes way longer than you expected, sometimes it is a surprise, sometimes things don't go the way you wanted to and you have to start over.  Trust me folks, I have been in EVERY one of those situations.  I just always would tell myself that everything happens how it is supposed to happen.  But I could not help seeing the irony in the situation...the one thing you tried so hard to prevent becomes the one thing you want to happen more than anything. 
So I don't think you can ever know when you are "ready"...but I think when it happens, you will never imagine life without that child.
I did find a very funny series of "tests" that you can take part in to see if you are ready for a baby.  I will share it with you.  It gave me a good laugh... Enjoy!

written by Daniel Cortes @
Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flower bed and rub on the walls.
Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.

Obtain a 55-gallon box of Legos. (If Legos are not available, you may substitute roofing tacks or broken bottles.) Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or
kitchen. Do not scream (this could wake a child at night).

Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop at the grocery store. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.

Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure that all arms stay inside.

Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a stout cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal (such as Fruit Loops or Cheerios) into the mouth of the jug while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.

Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8 to 12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 8:00 PM begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00 PM. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00 PM.Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00 AM.  Set alarm for 5:00 AM. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up
for 5 years. Look cheerful.

Obtain a large bean-bag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10% of the beans.
Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.

Find a couple who already have a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their child's discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training, and table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve.
Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run wild.
Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers.

1 comment:

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